easy?

why did i think this would be easy?

yeah sarah, let's just switch schools last second and hope everything goes smoothly.

yeah right.

~

i'm freaking out.

life is freaking me out.

what did they say at graduation?

life sucks?

no.. that wasn't it.

~

there is 3 weeks left until school starts

payments for my classes were due a couple days ago.

i had only 2 classes chosen so far.

i still have to do placement tests and junk.

i should have thought about all of this in june when i'd changed my mind..

~

i have no money.

neither do my parents {well, you know}

i probably don't qualify for the presidential scholarship because i slacked off.

not that i did bad, i just didn't do as good as i could have.

i know i'm smart, lately i just haven't felt like trying.

i used to put my whole heart and soul into school projects.

~

i've also been contemplating jobs..

i keep thinking "oh, i'm not that great at photography,

i'm not going to get very far"

but then i remembered "uhmm, hello, i'm sarah love, i can do it"

but then i think

"there's nothing else i'd want to do except be a stay at home mom and teach piano lessons.

but of course, i have to be good at that..

 and getting better requires lessons for myself.

lessons require money.

money, i have not"

~

nic is also having to make hard decisions.

no further detail on that.

but i just feel like things are kind of falling apart in a way.

neither of us knows what we want anymore.

is that how adulthood is SUPPOSED to be?

if so, i hate it.

~

can i go to neverland?

fairy dust please, tink?

~

boredom = below