Saturday, November 28, 2009

senioritis, i've had it since day one

i say i need a break.... i finally get one and i say i won't do any work at all...
                             during the break i do exactly what i said i wouldn't do.

i say i need a vacation... i get that vacation and there's always a million activities planned...
                             i get home and say i need another vacation...

seriously... breaks are good for nothing... they just make senioritis even worse and the need for yet ANOTHER break increases.
is high school as stressful for anyone else as it is for me?


oh well. i'm happy so what do i care?
for reals.

i just need prayers.
all i'll say...

sunday is tomorrow.. and i'm not ready for school monday.

i decided i won't have any blog post without a picture. i'll post at least one every time.
so here you go and i'm off to get ready for bed and wait for nic to get out of the movie he's in (seeing 2012 without me. lame-oh).


this is my favorite picture today.
i love my niece.
i will be getting 3 adorable nieces when my brother marries his fiance. :]
i'll post pictures of 2 of them tomorrow.


Thursday, November 26, 2009

HAPPY TURKEY DAY! Well, in my case.. HAPPY HAM DAY! (turkey is gross)

"I spent a lot of time vying for the approval of certain respected photographer friends, only to find that sometimes their well meaning criticism hindered my ability to identify and define my own style (which is still evolving every day). Now, I have aspiring photographers sending me their work all the time asking me for my opinion, and I always tell them the same thing. “It doesn’t matter what I think.” And ultimately, that is 100,000% true. I will still give photographers my opinion but I always always try to make sure that they understand that ultimately it’s their art. It’s their passion. No one else can define it for them.
So, in the end, it doesn’t matter what I think, or what Annie Leibowitz thinks for that matter, it matter’s what your client thinks, and just as importantly, if not more so, what you yourself think. Always ask yourself this question: “am I proud of this shot?” if the answer is “yes” then it doesn’t matter what anyone else says." -- Natalie Norton

Thank you Natalie Norton for lifting my spirits.

However, I do thank you all for the comments. Even though at first I was mad. But I won't let anyone bring me down. I don't care what anyone thinks anymore. It's my art and it can be what I want it to be.

On to a happy thought:
I WENT TO CALI with Nic and his family last weekend. That was the best weekend ever.
He didn't know I was coming. :]
He drove with his parents and I flew with Sharon (his aunt) and Grandma Dolly (his grandma) and Ella (his baby cousin). We got there before they did, so I was hiding in his sister's apartment when they showed up. Jess (his sister) has a little ball pit that the twins, Harley and Gavin (his niece and nephew) play in. Like a mini-version of the ones at McDonalds.. just not infested with nasty kid flu germs. Anywho, Nic was inside of it playing with Gavin. I ran in and jumped on him with my arms crossed and just said hi. He didn't know what was going on. It was cute. :]

While we were there, we went to an ice skating rink on the beach.

Then we went to the Redondo Beach Pier. It was gorgeous but it was freezing out over the ocean.

After that we went to a strip mall that was kind of a mix between Tempe Marketplace and Mill Ave. I bought a cute new sweater and 2 long sleeve shirts.

Then Sunday we had a birthday party for the twins. :]
Here's Gav opening some presents. (I took this shot! Woohoo! I liked the sun spots on it.)

Then I flew home. I wish I could've stayed forever. Haha.

I'm not. I hate when there's a gazillion shoppers in one store. But I need to buy Christmas presents and a new pair of jeans.
I refuse to go super early in the morning.. until I'm a parent at least.. Because now there's just no point. It's not worth the possible chance of death. Did you know that happened at Walmart last year? Some old man was trampled. :[

Well, I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving Day.
I did.
I'm grateful for:
Family, even though they're weird and crazy. :]
Nic and the wonderful person he is.
Nic's family who's pretty much my family (from now on, they included in the category of "family" because I do consider them family).
A home.
and all the various blessings God gives me every day.

Oh I am happy to be alive. :]

What are you thankful for?

Sunday, November 22, 2009

2 words:

criticism.... sucks.....
i had an awesome weekend. then came home to.... this...

to all you who hate my work... thanks for at least reading my blog.

i went to california this weekend to surprise nic. best weekend ever.
i'm exhausted and feel like major crap... bye.

"just because it's considered 'constructive criticism' does not mean it doesn't make me feel like s@!*...."

Friday, November 20, 2009


I finished my website.
Feeling discouraged.



Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Once again, a carnival day...

I spent all waking hours on a roller coaster.

Bad: woke up at 7:31, got ready in 5 minutes.
Good: I actually got ready in 5 minutes!
Bad: was almost late to class.
Good: wasn't late to class.
Bad: I think I did not so great on my math test.
Good: I ate fruit snacks and a poptart.
Bad: Nic told me he had study hall.
Good: I told him it was okay and that I had to make up some work anyways.
Bad: I went to go make up the work and my teacher wasn't there.
Good: I decided to go to the choir room.
Bad: I cried and didn't eat lunch.
Good: I sang.
Bad: I snapped at Nic for saying I was being mean to everyone when I was really just being a jerk to him when I shouldn't have been..
Good: He told me to smile.
Bad: I told him I didn't want to smile and continued on to class.
Good: The homework wasn't due today.
Bad: I still felt like crap.
Good: I was hoping to catch Nic before he went to basketball....
Bad: I was a couple seconds too late and he walked past the hall doors before I could walk out and he was walking with Spencer and a... *insert mean name here*.... and she was flirting with him.. I got pissed off. Called her a *insert mean name here*...
Good: I talked to Kelsey.
Bad: Had to go home and wait for Phantom of the Opera.
Good: Talked to Nic's mom.
then there was a bit of blah in the day.... THEN!
Good: Nic came over and gave me a hug after basketball.
Bad: He left...
Good: I got "accepted" to EAC. Even though if you just apply you're accepted. But still...
Bad: I didn't eat dinner.
Good: I saw Phantom of the Opera at Gammage theater. AWESOME!
Bad: I miss Nic.

I decided to quote myself today... "The day I 'live for the moment' is the day that life is actually worth living for" (At least I've never heard anyone say that before.

Like this... This is a self-quoted quote. haha:

"sometimes i believe i am famous and i say things that i hope people will think of as 'awesome'.. then i go back and quote myself later and pretend that someone really famous said it. this shall be one of them..."

But seriously.. the day worth living for is the day Nic and I get married. That's the "official" beginning of life. The best part of it anyways. No more parents regulating what can and can't happen. No more school. Being able to have my business without other distractions (until a baby comes along anyway..). Just being able to spend as much time I want with Nic (besides times that we're working) as I want to. Man. Life will just be great.

Why is it that time goes so SLOWLY while you're experiencing it... then when you look back you're like "OH... that was 10 years ago? It seemed like yesterday!"
Or the other day I had an epiphany.. In 3 years I'll be 20... that's 20 YEARS on the earth. 2 whole decades! But when I think about someone being 20 years old.. I think "They're so young!"

Man.. I'm falling asleep as I type. I'll finish with a few pictures then go to bed.
Last thing I have to say is that I'm in need of prayers. I'm losing myself again.

These are from Melodie and Myle's Wedding.

Homecoming was last weekend. It was a lot of fun. But we didn't get many good pictures of Nic and I. I did our group's pictures though.


Sunday, November 8, 2009

Once again.. LOTS to say.. but not enough time. It's almost midnight and I have school tomorrow.
BUT starting Saturday, I will be all caught up! YAY!
As we speak I'm putting the last of the homecoming pictures on the final CD!
Expect a giant post tomorrow! With lots of pictures! :]


Wednesday, November 4, 2009

mental health days aren't so "healthy" for me

"Exhale the stress so you don't come unglued
Somewhere there is a happy affair, a ghost of a good mood"
--Owl City

I feel like they're giving me that advice right now. Love the song. lol.
I took a mental health day today because Nic said he probably wasn't going to be at school.
I didn't want to have to be bored the whole day at school. So I stayed home..
Come to find out, HE'S AT SCHOOL!!! Ugh. So now I'm bummed.

I feel poopy anyways though. I have a headache and fever and I just feel crummy physically and mentally.
oh yeah.
can't forget about the cramps.
those jerks...
Plus, I didn't do my homework last night. So it's probably good that I didn't go..
I should probably go do that now. I will after I'm done writing.
like that'll happen...

I hate days like these.
I feel really cranky for no reason. Like I feel like I'm mad at something.. but I'm really not. Oh well.

Hmm. Idunno what else to say. I did the other day...

I made a calendar for this month and next month and wrote out all I had to do.
OCD much? But it was Haley's idea. I blame her. :P
I thought it would maybe relieve a little stress... seeing everything planned out...
it didn't.

Tonight is the Harvest Dance where about 7 stakes attend.. I don't think I'll be going.
can you say.. noisy and annoying?

Okay. Now I'm just rambling. So I'm going to go get to my homework.


Monday, November 2, 2009

I've realized something very important tonight...

I have the best dad in the world.
I really do. He really takes care of me more than I give him credit for.
Here's a list of what he's done for me recently that I'm eternally grateful for:
1. Supports me with all my photography efforts.
2. Supports me financially... especially with photography..
3. He's been allowing me to spend more time with Nic.
4. He talks to me when I'm feeling bummed.
5. He rubs my back when I'm falling asleep in church. (HAHA!) Also when I'm not feeling good.
6. He's basically offered to turn our backyard into a paradise for my future wedding reception.
7. He actually makes me laugh when I'm cranky sometimes.
8. He's worthy of the Priesthood so he was able to give me a Father's Blessing when I needed it.
9. And tonight he was trying to see how I would be able to work on my photography while we go to Utah for Thanksgiving.. and like trying to see if we could get Photoshop set up on a laptop.. but realized it wouldn't work on either of the laptops.. so he was talking about getting a laptop for me..
and he was saying that it'd be something I could use when I go away to college (Not really sure if it'll actually happen.. but..)
When he was talking about that it kind of just knocked me to the ground.. and made me really appreciate how much my dad does for me and how much I love my daddy.

He is the best.

Tonight I am feeling gratitude and peace.
God is an amazing man. He blesses me so much.
Everyday I feel His love for me even more and it's always stronger when I need it most.
Last night I actually felt His arms around me while I cried and I felt like everything would be okay as long as I trust in Him.
I love my God.