Why am I testing the Holy Ghost?

Every school day my family wakes up at 5:30. Luckily I get to sleep an extra hour before they wake me up for family prayers at 6:30. I wander out of my room half asleep and fall fully asleep on the floor with my face shoved into a couch pillow, waiting for everyone to gather their things and kneel around the room. While still 75% asleep, I wait for the word, "Amen." Every morning, the same routine. Except for this morning.

I sauntered back to my room to try and fall back asleep. However, as soon as I laid back down I was wide awake, fully conscious of the beautiful light created by the low sun. Then out of nowhere I had a desire to go to the temple. Mostly just to be there and feel the spirit, but to also take pictures of it's peaceful glory. I kept thinking, "Oh, I have to be in that area around 2pm or 4-ish, so I don't want to drive 15 minutes there and 15 minutes back when I'm going to have to do that later. I'll go tomorrow."

Uhmm, hello, Sarah. WHY are you testing the Holy Ghost? WHY are you procrastinating? WHY are you telling God you'll meet with Him tomorrow when you need him right now, every second of every day?

I'm not sure if I can answer that, I don't know why. But I know the feeling I had was Heavenly Father saying that I need to be closer to Him and that I need that right now. As I'm typing, the beautiful golden light is fading, only to return again tomorrow. Then again, what if the lighting isn't as perfect tomorrow or there's no bold, praising clouds framing the temple like there was this morning? Then there goes the pictures, but that doesn't mean I can't still worship and draw myself closer to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. Which means I plan on going tonight {along with tomorrow morning} and dragging Nic along with me. Since I will be in the area. ;]

It also means that I plan on doing spontaneous Baptisms for the Dead visits. Just me, myself, and I, to strengthen my relationship with Heavenly Father, because I need it like sugar for a sweet tooth right now.

Oh glorious Tuesday.

I hope everyone has a lovely day and finds peace within the havoc. :]

P.S. Glee is on tonight. Yipee!

P.P.S. I'm getting highlights in my hair today. I will finally post pictures of the blonde I've become over the last two months. :]

P.P.P.S. I don't have any pictures to post today, only because my camera is not cooperating, so I can't download any of the pictures off of it, so I will be getting a card reader sometime today. I will dedicate a post tomorrow all for pictures. :]

"Every great movement of God can be traced to a kneeling figure."

How am I doing?

Fan.Freaking.Tastic

How are you doing? That's what I want to know.

If I have any creeper readers out there, please, let me know how you're doing.

I like people that are nice.

Unlike the rude person who called the store today.

"Uhmm... it's August and you're telling me I can't order a dress and get it in by December? Then forget it."

Click.

What I wanted to say was, "No, sorry sweetie, our dresses take at least 6 months to order, because they're hand-sewn. You know all those tiny little beads all over the dresses? Yeah, that kind of takes a while. So you're not going to get this kind of service everywhere."

Oh well.

However, I am seriously thinking about quitting.

The job makes me feel stupid and I get all flustered and feel like I'm more of a nuisance to everyone there than a friend.

{And there's really no benefits to working there, because I do NOT plan on working there until I get married. That's 2 & 1/2 years away. No thank you. Plus, I don't like the idea of commissions.}

I never realized how valuable my Saturdays were until I started working there.

I'm just afraid of quitting after only a month of working there.

But there is SO many things I could be doing on Saturdays, mostly dealing with photography.

And going on adventures with the future hubs who is leaving on his mission in a few months.

I will miss that boy like heck. Hopefully it will go by fast.

I'm feeling the giant need to pray lately, but why can't I get my stubborn butt and knees on the floor?

I usually pray sitting up in my bed, then inching my way down throughout the prayer, and most of the time, falling asleep before it's finished.

Number Sixteen: Pray every night on my knees.

There's not much more to say tonight, except that I'm feeling positively happy, loved, and blessed.

That is all.

Not.

I almost forgot a pretty picture.

Normally I don't like to post pictures from my photography for clients unless I'm linking it to the blog,

but right now the photo blog is under construction. So here you go. :]

I don't know why, but I'm in love with this picture.

If you're not a fan already or would like to see more from this photoshoot, go here.

**Title quote by D.L. Moody

{the.end}

I made my blog private for only 2 days. Consider that an "epic" fail. I hate that word.

Epic.

Ugly and overused.

I changed my mind about making the blog private. I can't decide on the reason why, I just know writing makes me happy, and it's easier to keep up on a blog than a journal.

However, there will be changes to the blog.

Notice the CAPITAL LETTERS??? :]

And at least somewhat proper grammar and English?

I decided, writing like I was, I sounded like a 10 year old with their first facebook account.

{P.S. I think I've said it before, but little kids should STAY OFF OF FACEBOOK!}

Lykee ohh my goshh??? i SoUnD sO rEEEdIcuLoUs!!!

Okay, so it wasn't that dramatic, but using proper grammar makes me feel like I did when I actually tried to make everything perfect. Not to say I can do anything perfectly, only referring to trying my hardest and being at the "top of my game."

However, this will not stop me from using spaces to emphasize a change in subject or anything of the like.

I hate paragraph structures.

Also, I'm changing the name and design of the blog.

I just need to come up with something fun.

Lastly, I will not mention anything negative about the people I love.

As in, it isn't anyone's business about who did what to make me sad.

Because it doesn't matter, I still love my family/friends and I know within the next 24 hours, the tiff will be over.

~

With all of that being said,

it's time to get to work and...

---

OH. I am also going to be more creative and post inspirational things and crafty things I've been doing {along with other things done by other people that inspire me}.

And I'm going to make it a goal to always add at least one picture, but it has to be my own {Starting with the next post. I have nothing artsy to post this time due to this spur of the moment blogging}.

---

...have fun, be inspirational, be creative, and be happy.

{the.beginning}

whole-heartedly

any time i argue with anyone,

especially him,

i feel like part of my heart is being ripped out.

i'm not a contender.

so to argue really hurts.

i only argue when i feel it's unfair to be put down, when i didn't do anything really wrong or worth arguing about.

arguing is making something out of nothing.

it's better to leave nothing as it is.

but does that mean to just let someone put you down and to just say you're sorry?

i suppose.

in my case, it just might be better.

oh well.

~

number eleven: make a difference in the world. bring sunshine to someone else's day, even when my day isn't going well. especially on those days.

number twelve: go on a spontaneous road-trip.

number thirteen: breathe normal.

number fourteen: visit the phoenix children's hospital regularly and spend time and play with the kids.

number fifteen: donate to the hospital.

~

**there would be pictures, but i haven't really taken many photos for myself within the last few weeks.

well... kind of.

i'll post some maybe tomorrow.

~

goodnight stars.

bring me sweet dreams.

i am a dreamer, take me higher, open the sky up, start a fire.

sometimes i feel like i daydream too much.

like it's slightly unhealthy.

but i can't help but yearn for things i want to do in this life.

so i'm creating my bucket-list:

number one: be fluent in french.

number two: go to france.

number three: be able to go to bed early and wake up early every day

number four: own my own photography studio.

number five: live in a northwestwern state. {utah, colorado, idaho, washington, oregon.} {i'd also kill to live somewhere in europe. probably wouldn't happen.}

number six: have a future house that will be on the rather large side, cutely decorated, and organized.

number seven: have 5-7 kids.

number eight: go to the temple often.

number nine: go to disneyland.

number ten: have an adventure, learn to not be scared of new things.

i will slowly add more as they come up, and i will update them on the blog, so you can hope with me too. :P

~

i had something important to say..

but now i can't remember what it was.

~

on an ending note:

“The starting point of great success and achievement has always been the same. It is for you to dream big dreams. There is nothing more important, and nothing that works faster than for you to cast off your own limitations than for you to begin dreaming and fantasizing about the wonderful things that you can become, have, and do.”

--Brian Tracy

ending picture:

i love emily porter photography and i can't stop staring at this picture:

everything about it is perfect.

oh happy day, oh happy d-a-a-ay

"over the last year i've realized i think in pictures and i imagine each moment as it being a movie. and i always expect the worst, because in movies, it gets worse before it gets better. so i decided i should probably think more logically than i have. it's causing problems. it's made me more emotional {not a good emotional} than i should be."

--stated on facebook

when thinking in pictures helps on the creative side,

it's not helping in every day reality.

this overdramatic attitude makes me second-guess ALL of my decisions.

so when i make a decision, based on the promptings of the holy ghost,

i know it's right.

THEN i get more feelings later that it's not right

and i think it's the holy ghost telling me that.

it happens with everything i choose to do.

so i've come to the realization that it's not the holy ghost telling me it's the wrong thing EVERY time

{because let's face it, how could i second guess my choice of photography???

it's perfect for me, Heavenly Father has helped me realize that}

and it's just my assumptions that everything in my life is going to go wrong.

because when i pray about my decisions again,

i get the feeling that what i'm doing is right.

so i should probably stop pestering Heavenly Father

because He knows i'll eventually figure out that i made the right decision in the first place.

i just have to tell myself to stop being such a drama queen,

and remember what truly feels right.

and that every day is only as happy as i make it.

seriously.

so, once again, i'm making the goal to simply, be happy.

and i am.

today is a happy day.

even if i had to sit through hours of training videos

and have my chocolate melt in my purse.

because it doesn't matter, when i'm loved by God and family and friends.

{and at least i got to eat most of the chocolate before it melted. :P }

speaking of friends, i will force myself to not be a hermit and actually have a good time with awesome people.

keep your chin up, sarah, and you will do great things

pretty picture? yes.

pretty picture? baha.. no. look at that weirdy. :P

just kidding. :]

au revior!

easy?

why did i think this would be easy?

yeah sarah, let's just switch schools last second and hope everything goes smoothly.

yeah right.

~

i'm freaking out.

life is freaking me out.

what did they say at graduation?

life sucks?

no.. that wasn't it.

~

there is 3 weeks left until school starts

payments for my classes were due a couple days ago.

i had only 2 classes chosen so far.

i still have to do placement tests and junk.

i should have thought about all of this in june when i'd changed my mind..

~

i have no money.

neither do my parents {well, you know}

i probably don't qualify for the presidential scholarship because i slacked off.

not that i did bad, i just didn't do as good as i could have.

i know i'm smart, lately i just haven't felt like trying.

i used to put my whole heart and soul into school projects.

~

i've also been contemplating jobs..

i keep thinking "oh, i'm not that great at photography,

i'm not going to get very far"

but then i remembered "uhmm, hello, i'm sarah love, i can do it"

but then i think

"there's nothing else i'd want to do except be a stay at home mom and teach piano lessons.

but of course, i have to be good at that..

 and getting better requires lessons for myself.

lessons require money.

money, i have not"

~

nic is also having to make hard decisions.

no further detail on that.

but i just feel like things are kind of falling apart in a way.

neither of us knows what we want anymore.

is that how adulthood is SUPPOSED to be?

if so, i hate it.

~

can i go to neverland?

fairy dust please, tink?

~

boredom = below