Wednesday, March 17, 2010

i live in countdowns.

i've been thinking about monsieur N going on his mission a lot lately..

i have a friend named chandler who's mister, jason, [i did pictures for them recently. previews on the tomorrow] is leaving tomorrow.
it seems like it's so hard for her.
and it's making me dread the day when monsieur N leaves.
i keep telling myself "oh 2 years is a synch, no problemo."
let's face it, sarah, you're lying to yourself.

it will be so hard.
i'm almost crying thinking about it.
i know the day he leaves it'll be "see you in 2 years. {sobs}"
more sobs.
choking on my own tears.



so not ready.
i have a hard time going through weekends without seeing him
i KNOW the wait will be so worth it.
just super scared.


the transition to adulthood is so much different than the change of hair color.


it'll be a lot of HUGE changes.
changes i'm not ready for.
i've already gone over through these before,
but i'm listing them again because lists makes me feel better:

1. college away from home, possibly cali before.
2. having to pay for my own stuff (housing, food, gas, etc)
3. becoming a real adult, 18.
4. nic leaving on his mission.
5. just being totally insecure and unsure of what's going to happen.
{high school is so predictable. but i don't even know what to expect on my own}

2 &1/2 months till sunshine..
and hopefully the beach.
but 5 months until insecurity,
8 months till full mental breakdown.


  1. The best and worst part of growing up is paying for things. 2 years will truly fly by if you're doing the right things. You gorgeous girl.

  2. thanks verity. haha. i know it'll be awesome feeling accomplished. and it'll be fun getting to send him care packages and encouraging him and stuff. it'll just be sucky waiting. lol. and you're gorgeous yourself. :]

  3. Honestly, I think us missionary friends psych ourselves out over the being-without-our-boys thing. Michael Rudd and I dated for 2 years before he left...We spent every second of time we could get with each other. We did EVERYTHING together. We were around each other ALL the time. We were/are best friends. I thought I was going to have an extremely hard time. I thought I was going to go through withdrawls and become an anti-social hermit once he left.

    I. Was. Wrong.

    He's been gone a MONTH today, and I haven't cried once. Not one tear. I didn't even cry at the airport!! I'm proud of myself :)

    That doesn't mean I don't miss him, because I miss him like crazy. That doesn't mean it isn't hard, because it is. It's just not as hard as I thought it would be.

    I am sooo excited for Michael Rudd. He could not wait to get out and serve and his enthusiasm for the work is out of this world. Reading his letters now and seeing his excitement for the opportunity to serve a mission before he left made me realize how happy he was. I can't help but be just as happy for him. And you can't be this happy and that sad at the same time :)

    Believe it or not, life goes on without them. You can still have a good time, even if they're not around. Just don't dwell on it.

    The good news is that TIME FLIES. I feel like just yesterday we were unloading Michael Rudd's luggage at the airport and standing in line to go through security. And it's already been a whole month. It's unbelievable. But a big blessing.

    In the meantime, letters can help keep us sane :) Amazing. Love it.

    Packages are so much fun to send. One of the last things Michael Rudd and I did was go to Sprinkles. De-lish. I went back last Thursday and picked up one to send him. It's so exciting...for me and him :)

    You'll be alright, Sarah Love. Pray for strength. Pray for courage. Pray for him. Make sure he knows that you are supportive of his decision and that you are more happy that he is going than you are sad. Make sure he knows that you wouldn't have it any other way.

    And this is probably the longest comment ever :)

  4. hahaha. kymber, you're so funny. this is definitely the longest comment i've ever seen.
    but i totally know what you mean. i think it will definitely be easier when he actually goes, but just thinking about it sucks. lol. i am SO excited to send care packages and stuff. thanks for the encouragement. :]