butterfly fly away

"need to cry. need to escape; escape the suffocating society around me and search myself and fill this hole that's in my heart. i need to escape the pain i feel. the drowning emptyness. i need to get away. spend a while somewhere foreign where i can be who i want to be. without pressure. without worry."

-quoting myself.

thinking of making a song based on that.

honestly, i'm scared to death.

scared of the HUGE changes..

i might be spending the summer in california.

i'm really excited and hope it works out...

but then i started thinking about the huge changes that will come.

it'll be the first time not living with my family.

my family is kind of crazy and annoying sometimes..

but they bring me a lot of happiness and support too.

whether it be going to cali first or just going to college,

either way i will miss my support here.

and i will miss monsieur N terribly. sure, i'll still see him.

just not as much as i'd like.

it'll be good for us though at the same time.

i still won't like it very much.. but oh well..

~

onto a less stressing octave

...

1. i had my senior pictures done last friday with jo.

here's some favorites:

and i have many many more favorites. i don't know how i'll choose for my announcements.

gahh...

2. my sister is coming to for 2 weeks from texas!!

she's coming tomorrow with baby Sage [how precious is he?]

3. i have lots of photoshoots to do this weekend and next week.

i'm so excited.

4. tomorrow night is the arizona bridal warehouse modest prom dress fashion show.

it will be so fun! not wearing a fancy dress for it,

but here's my prom dress that i get at the end:

i know my hair is sick.nast but it does it's job.

i love my dress though. perfect.fit

[and no, i'm not ruining the surprise because monsieur N has already seen it and it's not like it's our wedding day so i don't care, and besides, he suggested the blue, and i LOVE it.]

goodnight

olive.juice

<3