Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Rough Times

Wow, the last week has been hectic!

So I was grounded from going to prom, but last Saturday my dad and I went on a daddy daughter date. We went to go see Monsters Vs. Aliens (Which was stinking cute! Really. It was awesome and hilarous! :] ) and on the way back I was talking about a way I would be able to go to prom. We came up with me having to do the dishes and make dinner every night until prom.... Woohoo... but the trick was getting my mom to agree to this.. She expects me to never see Nic again. Which is never going to happen because I love him too much.

So we talked to my mom about it... She almost said no.. but she decided to let it work! Another condition is that my parents have to talk to his parents.. which will be awkward, but they're letting us go on a triple date with all of us and we'll all talk about it there so it won't be so awkward. Anyways.. So I did the dishes twice on Sunday, and cleaned the entire kitchen and part of the family room. I'm trying to do more than I have to so I can make my parents happy. But last night I made turtle brownies.. it took me about 4 hours total. But it's for a service learning project we're doing for our english class. I finished at 10, then had to do the dishes. So I did the dishes until 11. Then I still had to do my homework.. Which I did, but towards the last few problems I kept falling asleep, but whenever I'd try to do the problem, I'd fall asleep again. So that whole night REALLY stressed me out.

The week came and went... We were assigned in our english class to read a novel of our choice and do a million different assignments on it... I chose Little Women. Little did I know that this 500 page novel and all the assignments to go along with it had to be completed in 2 weeks. So I'm freaking out about it because I never have time to read with all the dish washing and dinner making I have to do. Although, my mother has been kind and hasn't required me to make dinner for the past couple nights, mostly because it's the weekend.

Yesterday Nic was trying to get me out of my house and hang out with my friends so I could stop moping and do something fun.. But because I got out of the house, my night went worse than it would've been if I'd stayed home. I went to go do some grocery shopping for my mom. I got all the stuff she needed, rang up everything with the cashier... ran the debit card through the machine.... DENIED. What the heck...? I called my mom. She checked the account online... There was no reason it shouldn't have worked. There was money in the account.. but still no approval from the machine. So they sent me up to Customer Service with my stuff and the reciept for the amount it was. My dad was supposed to be on his way... I called 15 minutes later... My dad's car was dead... I called 30 minutes later.. still dead. I called 10 minutes later.. He'd got it working and was on his way. He got there and paid with cash. We left with my face a tear stained mess, silence, and melted ice cream.

And the whole time Nic was telling me to get out of the house, I was thinking he might have been planning to ask me to prom while I was gone (because he still hasn't officially asked) which is the only reason why I went-- but no.. in the middle of shopping he said he was at Kino's performance of the play Annie and had to stop texting. GREAT! So I was already upset by him "forcing" me out of the house. Then the denial happened and I was even more angry with him for making me do something. And I couldn't even talk to him because he was in the play.. So I got home after 1 hour and 10 minutes waiting.. I told him I wanted to call him when he was able to.. So I sat around thinking I would get my phone call.. but no. So I asked him if I could talk to him.. *He didn't feel like it* EVEN MORE GREAT NEWS! NOT! I was so upset and started crying till it felt like sobbing could do no good for me anymore. Yes it sounds over-dramatic.. but I have some weird problem with me, where I get really depressed for no reason. Like really... I get so depressed sometimes that I wish I would die already. Then the next day I'm fine. Which is how it is right now. I'm perfectly happy.. So when he said that he didn't feel like talking, I thought something was wrong with me and how could I be such an awful girlfriend and he doesn't love me anymore and stuff like that. Then he apologized for making me upset and he helped me feel better. So I went to bed happy.

I woke up this morning and everything was great. I curled my hair and looked all cute for church. I went to church and learned some amazing things, mostly in Young Womens. That's where I learn the most. It's easier to focus and the lessons are always AMAZING! Thanks to Sis. Peterson, Sis. Huish, and Sis. Payne. They're the best people I know and they're my heroes. Especially Sis. Peterson. She knows a lot about what I'm going through and helps me get through it. I definitely owe her a lot for everything she does!
On the way home from church though my mom started lecturing about how her children settle for less... I didn't enjoy that... Most definitely not. I'm not "settling" I guess I am in a way... But I don't know how to explain it... Just know that i'm NOT settling.

Okay, so I know this is a lot of information... So I'll leave it with this:

I'm happy now and life is getting better.
The most important thing I learned today is that people change, not always in a good way, but hopefully for the better. I also learned that I need to have patience with Nic. and my older siblings. I keep pushing the gospel on Nic (and my mom and I are kind of doing the same with my older siblings) and trying to cram it down his throat and I'm expecting too much from him, and today Sis. Peterson said that guys aren't as spiritually in-tune as girls are, so they take more time to mature and become a better person, and most of the time they don't take the gospel as seriously when they're younger.. So that made me think about how he is feeling with me being so pushy.. and from now on, I will be patient.

Okay, really.. I will stop talking now... haha. :]

Sunday, April 5, 2009

he's always my favorite to talk about. :]

hahahaha. this is more of a marriage thing.. but it was still fun to do.
i'll just have to fill it out when we do get married. :]

How long have you been together?
6 months, 1 week and 2 days. haha. :]

How long did you know each other before you started dating?
uhmm.. about a year.

Who asked who out?
he asked me out

How old are each of you?
lol. not "OLD" :P
but he's 17 & 1/2, me 16 & 1/2.

Whose siblings do/did you see the most?
well, he used to see a lot of mine, since he was ALWAYS over here, and i saw his sister a lot when i'd go over there. but now we can't quite hang out as much because of the grounding and stuff. :/

Do you have any children together?
hahaha. no. not yet. in the future though.

What about pets?
well, he has a cat that'd probably go with when we get married. and i have a mutt, but we're trying to give him to someone we know because i just don't have the time to train him.

Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
uhmm.. i'm not sure..? there's still time to figure it out.

Did you go to the same school?
for part of JH and all of HS, yes.

Are you from the same home town?
nah. he's from Globe.

Who is the smartest?
uhh...? i don't know. he's pretty smart.. but i'm a little more focused than he is. :P

Who is the most sensitive?
depends on the situation.

Where do you eat out most as a couple?
hmm... i don't think we've actually gone to the same place more than once together so far.
we always go somewhere different.

Who does the cooking?
well, seeing as we're not married yet.. no one.
but i do bake him and his family some yummy desserts. :]

Who is more social?
i think he is.. but idk. i can be.
i guess it just depends.

Who is the neat-freak?
well, neither of us, really. but i love to have things clean unless it pertains to my bedroom or my desk. haha.

Who hogs the bed?
uhmm... still don't know the answer to that one yet.. lol.

Who wakes up earlier?
i do. i have A hour, so i get up at 5:45 every morning. i'm a morning person. :]
he's not. lol.

Where was your first date?
we went to Amazing Jake's. that was AMAZING! except i got really tired, really fast. and i had a headache. but it was still fun. :]

Who has the bigger family?
i do. i have 7 siblings, where he has 2. lol. :]

Do you get flowers often?
hmm.. not like, every week or anything. but it's often enough. :]

How do you spend the holidays?
well.. i haven't really spent a holiday with him except for valentine's day. and then we drove up north and got to play in the snow with kelsey and morgan. then that night we got to watch a movie and eat pizza. it was fun and cute. :]

How long did it take to get serious?
about a month.

Who eats more?
haha. i'm sure he does.. but i think secretly it's a tie because i eat a TON when i'm at home.

Who does/did the laundry?
hahaha. i probably will end up doing it. i actually have washed a couple of his shirts, but it's only because i use them. X]

Who’s better with the computer?
definitely me. :P

Who drives when you are together?
i definitely don't like driving unless if i'm forced and he likes to drive, so he does.
unless if i actually offer to drive every once in a while. lol.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

I'm definitely freaking out about the future.

Recently I've talked to the Academy of Art University.. and I was feeling great about it.. until I heard the cost of their program. Holy cow. It was $2200 per class per semester.. Idiotic, right? Stupid private schools. So my mom was like, "Why don't you go to BYU Idaho?" So I did some research on that. It sounds pretty good and a fair price too. Then I started looking at just BYU Utah, and I like that possibility even more because I have more family in Utah and it's closer to Arizona. It'll be more expensive, but it'd be worth it. And they have a photography program, which is the most important to me.

I'm really nervous for everything. I'm always afraid I'm not going to do the right thing...
I guess I haven't been praying hard enough though.. because maybe if I did, then I'd get more prominent answers on what is the right thing. I keep saying in my mind.. that I will pray harder and more sincerely. and EVERY morning and EVERY night. I say my prayers at night most of the time, but I know I need to say them EVERY night. but in the morning....? I just completely forget.. which is really sad to say because how can I forget God? Ugh.

This weekend has been hard. Frustrating, terrifying, nerve-wrecking, tiring... everything. I hope I can talk to Nic... I really need his comfort. But watch... he'll be busy... I always manage to call him at bad times. :/
I also can't wait to just get to sleep!
Good night world.