Goal 10 already in progress. haha. :P

I've fallen in love with weddings and the whole, me being able to plan a wedding in the near future. I am SOOOO excited, you don't even know.
I've also fallen in love with this dress:

along with this one:

I've also been looking at cakes!
I know... call me pathetic.
the color options i'm thinking about are:
brown, teal, white.
pink, white, brown.
pink, green, white.
pink, yellow, white.
orange, red, white.

right now I am leaning towards pink, white, and brown.
because of the flowers I want... which are Gerbera Daisies.
and I love these exact colors in this one:

and i'm totally digging this cake. SO AMAZING!

Wow. I just can't wait if you can't tell... and I have too much time on my hands to already be planning my future wedding reception. hahaha. :]
and I definitely can't wait to be married in the temple! :]
I still have a while though to prepare myself to be a future wife and mom.
I still need to finish my Personal Progress.. so I will definitely be preparing that way.
I also need to be able to get myself on my own feet instead of my parents, by getting a job and saving up for stuff, since I will be out of this house and in a place of my own with my hubby. :]
Oh man.. I'm just excited. Enough said. :]

101 things in 1001 days

i really liked this idea.
(i stole it from jo.) :]

this might help me to stay on track and really focus on my goals and actually figure out what my goals are. because i'm so indecisive. but this will be my definite goal list.
and i'm really excited for it. :]

101 things to do in 1001 days:
(will be completed by Christmas day 2011. wow. what a good day to start this.) :]

1. Get a job for the summer '09 and longer.
2. Buy a new camera. Possibly a Canon 50D.
3. Apply for colleges and scholarships.
4. Go to college for photography and business.
5. Start my own photography business and be awesome. :P :]
6. De-clutter my room and get rid of all the stuff I don't use and never will use again. lol. and get rid of all the stupid old school papers that i'm retardedly saving! i don't need them for anything! what matters is that i did well then, but i'm smarter now. just move on! haha. (completed 7/16/09)
7. Buy a laptop for college.
8. Receive the feeling of accomplishment often.
9. Buy a new bed frame and mattress; one without broken springs, that is soft, and not a squeaky bunk-bed. haha. :]
10. Get married to Nic. (it'll have to wait now until spring/summer of 2013)
11. Keep growing my hair out and get a new hairstyle. I haven't cut my hair in a year. ( completed 7/14/09)
12. Graduate from high school. Yay! :]
13. Go camping.
14. Finish putting up the border in my bathroom.
15. Keep my room clean for a whole month (good luck to me with that. haha).
16. Take the dogs on a walk at least once a week for 2 months, and try for a whole year.
17. Be a lifeguard, summer 2010.
18. Get better at saying my prayers EVERY morning.
19. Make blog layouts for friends if they want one. (So guys, ask me. haha)
20. Go through my computer and organize everything, delete pictures that are just a failure. haha. Also make it my computer for just photography once i get my laptop.
21. Early to bed, early to rise, for a whole month straight. (completed June 09)
22. Make a new kind of food/dessert every saturday or sunday.
23. Sleep under the stars.
24. Get out of the house for an hour every day.
25. Finish my recipe book.
26. When moved out, get a pre-trained puppy.
27. Less internet. Maybe an hour at the most each day..? Until I get my camera, and my business is started, of course. :]
28. Find 5 things that make me happy each month. Write them in my journal.
29. Get better at writing in my journal. Once a week.
30. Read and watch all Jane Austen novels/movies.
31. Read the whole Book of Mormon, start to finish, but this time with a purpose. (in progress)
32. Do a service at least once a week for someone, it doesn't matter who.
33. Visit Cali. Not for school or anything, but just because I want to.
34. Go horseback riding at least 3 times.
35. Have an amazing 18th birthday!
36. Learn something new like a sport or game. Or even develop a new talent. OOH! learn to skim-board!!
37. Keep myself ungrounded forever!
38. Try out for solos next year in choir. It's my last year, better make the most of it!
39. Write a list of 50 positive things about myself, and a list of 20 negative things. take the negative list camping and burn it or take it with me to the ocean some time and put it in a bottle and throw it out to sea.
40. Visit Washington and Oregon.
41. Visit my grandma and aunt & uncle & cousins in Utah.
42. Write my plans of where I want to be in my life in 5 years. (completed April 09)
43. Surprise my amazing boyfriend, Nic, somehow and make him happy.
44. Do something nice for Nic every day for 2 weeks.
45. Do more for mom and dad by giving them back massages and helping around the house more.
46. Buy a few more Sunday dresses/skirts. :] (completed May 09)
47. Color a whole coloring book.
48. Play in the irrigation like old times. (completed May 09)
49. Go on a couple daddy/daughter dates.
50. Only drink soda once a month. That shouldn't be too hard because I don't like soda a lot, I just drink it if i go out to eat.
51. Learn to eat healthier. That'll be a lot easier once I'm out of school and able to not eat stupid school pizza and other crap they serve. (yeah, they have healthy stuff... but have you seen it...? it's not even fully cooked!! so in reality, it's not that healthy.)
52. Have Jo do my senior pictures.
53. Create a savings account for college, a future home, and car. Spend less than a quarter of the money I make. Save up at least $5000 by the end of 1001 days..
54. Learn to budget my money better. Set up a budget plan and follow it.
55. Take a day at a spa with my girl friends.
56. Don't buy extra things I don't need, even when the shirt may be SOOOOOO cute.
57. Go to the Renaissance Festival.
58. Fly a kite.
59. Buy a pair of yellow heels and a pair of red ones.
60. Empty luggage the day I come home from a trip everytime.
61. Update facebook page info and photos every month.
62. Go to the Drive-in movies.
63. Spend a week with my sister in Texas during a summer (unless if she decides to move closer before 1001 days are up). (completed 7/2/09)
64. Hike really early, before sunrise, with Nic and bring a light breakfast, and eat it while watching the sunrise.
65. Get more church CD's/piano music to put on my iPod and only listen to church music on Sundays.
66. Limit myself to only having fast food once every other month.
67. Look up more photographers in the area and learn more from them.
68. Make a birdhouse.
69. Don't wear sweats when going out in public. At least wear jeans and a normal looking t-shirt.
70. Do my hair and make-up every school day for a month. And actually dress up.
71. Go to a new restaurant every other month.
72. Go through MSN messenger and Facebook and delete all the friends I don't talk to at least once a month or see once a week and block the ones that creep me out. (completed april 09)
73. Have a girls' weekend with Jessica.
74. Get better at diving so I can place 1st more often in meets. Also take diving for the next 2 summers. and next school year.
75. Do something nice for Mr. Harris the end of next school year, showing him that I appreciate and respect him. Also the same for Richard, my dive coach.
76. See 20 movies I've never seen before, whether they be coming out soon or older ones.
77. Do at least five 500 piece (or more) puzzles.
78. Try my hand at using my mom's sewing machine and try to sew something. (I haven't done that in a few years).
79. Go to all of Nic's basketball games next year.
80. Write a new song, and actually finish it.
81. Try out for American Idol. :]
82. Make my own website.
83. Raise my GPA to being closer to the top of the seniors next year.
84. Laugh more often and not let the bad things get to me.
85. Thank God more often for all the things I am blessed with.
86. Go to church EVERY week even if I am feeling sick.
87. Kiss Nic in the rain. (completed 5/21/09)
88. Be in Curtain Time and Senior Varieties next year and show the school what I've got, again. :]
89. Meet more of Nic's family.
90. Get a library card and use it.
91. Help plan a neighborhood block party.
92. Work on my scrapbook.
93. Go to Disneyland for the first time in my life.
94. Go on at least 2 dates a month with someone other than Nic to make my parents happy.
95. Forgive and forget. 70 x 7.
96. Do my homework EVERY night.
97. Learn to play some XBox games so I can play them with Nic.
98. Don't back out of new opportunities to do something fun or new. Don't be afraid of new things.
99. Get better at writing on my blog.
100. "Forget regrets or life is yours to miss." "You'll never move forward if you keep looking back" --Always move forward. I won't dwell on past mistakes, but learn from them and move on. That's what we have Christ for. I love my Savior.
101. Make a new 101 things list. :]

it's a mixed emotion month

a month of mistakes, singing, pain, joy, loss, happiness.

first off, my sister-in-law's mom died. my uncle passed away, my dad went into the hospital, i was freaking out and having a rough time with all the sadness, and i just broke down.

it's heading towards normal again. but i made another mistake.

in.the.life.of.sarah.love
every day is a mistake.

not as in "i want to kill myself." but like i can never seem to make the right decision.

last night nathan and i got into an arguement. it started with me trying to perfect my cheesecake, him pushing my hand so i'd hit the cheesecake and ruin it (which ended up not happening), me slapping him and yelling "faggot" in the process, him spitting orange juice on me, and in the end, me flipping him off and telling him i hate him.
and all night rachel (nathan's fiance) was kinda teasing me and complaining about me making a cheesecake for nic, which is usually nathan's job. so i was already a little annoyed. then i was reading my book, 10 or 20 pages away from the end and she was like "Sarah, put in a movie, pick one out. watch it with me" so me, not wanting to make her cry by not giving her her way, put my book down, and put in a movie. then she ate, seriously, half the box of fruit snacks and granola bars, and 1/4 of our refrigerator. anything she did bugged me last night. usually i can handle it.. but not last night..

so today.. i pretty much felt like running away because i'm sick of my dad trying to regulate my relationship with nic. i have a boyfriend now. it's a fact. i shouldn't be forced to go on dates with other people (in order to go on more dates with nic) when i have a freaking boyfriend. especially when no one wants to go on a date with me because of that fact. it's SO annoying. i have to admit though, that i did go on a date with Ryan Stock the other night and had SO much fun, but that was rare. Ryan actually understands my case and agreed to go on a date with me anyways, even though, he knew, in a way i used him (which is not what i'm getting at because i enjoyed every second of the date).
i just hate the rule. especially because anytime i hang out with nic, and a couple days later he and morgan and kelsey plan something SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO fun, i can't go.
like today, i went swimming with the 3 of them, and found out that tomorrow, they're all going up to Heber to ride quads and go shooting... which i've wanted to do for a long time! but no.. now i can't go because dad considers today a date.

i liked dad better when he was in the hospital and away from the house..


oh well... all-state auditions were friday...
i didn't make it.
i'm bummed... but there's always next year.


"fit to the mood" quote for the day:

When you are angry or frustrated, what comes out? Whatever it is, it's a good indication of what you're made of.”

i'm happy right now though. for some odd reason. even though a choice i made today and so many other days can change the whole rest of my life.. most likely for the bad...
officially... i am an idiot... for making that choice.

and this is where i say my goodbye and beg my mom for jamba juice to sooth my frustration.

when chocolate is most women's remedy for stress/PMSing, mine is the creamy, sweet, Orange Dream Machine smoothie from Jamba Juice.
de-lish.