eclectically.sarah

moving.

2011-08-07T11:02:00.001-07:00

hey everyone, the blog is moving to

http://love.sarahwaggoner.com

same design, ramblings, and me.

just a different location.

go head on over and add the link to your reader if you wish. :]

ciao.

--sarah

photoshop, how i've missed thee: before and after.

2011-08-03T19:50:00.000-07:00

i just had to share how much i am grateful for photoshop and the wonderful editing tool that it is.

here is a before and after from Melissa and Jordan's engagement session. the image before was okay, but dull in comparison to what i envisioned it being.

it's amazing what a few editing techniques can do for your photos.

i am VERY grateful for photoshop.

here's one of my first shots from this spot, but it happened to be my favorite frame out of all the ones we took there, so i decided to save it. boy did it need a lot of help.

for both of these images i used Florabella's action: Swoon.
but turned down the opacity and turned off a few layers, and did a lot of my own edits to it.

photoshop is a powerful tool to help you create your final vision.
but of course, you should create your vision first in your camera.

arrivederci!

--sarah

Melissa and Jordan - engagement sneak peek

2011-08-03T17:03:00.000-07:00

Here's just a short sneak peek for Melissa and Jordan.

This was the first time I'd ever been to Sedona. It is absolutely gorgeous there!

Can't wait to share more. :]

please bear with my confused brain.

2011-07-29T18:59:00.000-07:00

okay okay okay.

i'm really flaky.

in the aspect that i decide things then change my mind.

ALL. THE. TIME.

my name is sarah, and i am addicted to photography.

after i decided to "quit" and just do it as a hobby, i felt uneasy, apprehensive, and nauseous.

when i think about doing other things as a profession, i feel even more like i'm going to lose my lunch.

it seems photos literally call my name.

"sarah, give me life."

i continued to look at photos and think, "what do i like about this photo? how can i recreate it in my own way for my own clients?"

then i'd lie to myself, saying, "oh wait, i'm not doing photography as a job anymore."

just now i was perusing the inter-web and came across these lovely photographers:

red leaf studios

i fell in love with the film-y feel of their photos

and found their online photography workshop:

http://www.redleafonlineworkshop.com/

i caught myself thinking "I NEED TO SIGN-UP FOR THIS!!"

then, remembering my decision, my eyes filled with tears.

this quote has kept coming to my mind all day.

why waste what God has given me?

i may not be the best at photography, but there's time to grow and improve.

patience just has to play a big part in this.

my final thoughts on the matter, is that i need to really put myself into my photos and find my niche in it.

and this is my wake up call to work even harder and do the best i can.

i ask you all to please bear with me

as i sort this all out.

and wish me a big ol' "good luck!"

until next time,

sarah

today i woke up and i found more to love

2011-07-29T12:23:00.000-07:00

life, could you please just stop being so complicated?

i'm running away to europe.

hah.

okay, no i'm not.

my mom believes i look very similar to the character on the cover of her book.

and she had the idea to make a book trailer. meaning a short video introducing her book.

so she had me be her model.

(minus the beauty mark and a bigger nose, what do you think?)

after "filming", i got my hairs did by miss Verity.

she did a splendid job!

meh. you can't tell in the picture, but it's lighter and caramel-y

mmm!

and i have bangs again. woohoo!

i really want a film camera.

preferably a Hasselblad or Leica. hehe.. just kidding.

i really would like a Nikon FM2 though.

after finishing up my last few photoshoots coming up, i may sell my camera and get the FM2 and the 50mm 1.4.

and get a digital point and shoot.

maybe save up a little and get the Fuji Finepix x100

it looks like a vintage toy camera, but it's a digital point and shoot.

it's so cute! a little expensive, but i want it.

i'm off to go do something other than sitting at the computer.

we'll see what interesting things i find to do.

au revoir.

sarah

"pro bono", a project, and a lack of wisdom.

2011-07-26T09:41:00.000-07:00

thinking about certain things makes me queasy.

but that's not what i'm here to talk about.

i've had an adventure these last couple years.

starting my photography inquisition,

graduating from high school,

lived in CA for a month and spent time with sweet kiddos and future sister/brother-in-law whom i love to eternity,

had a couple of different jobs,

took a year off from school.

starting a new job next week.

i guess it's not too exciting, considering there were so many more exciting things i could have done, but oh well.

however, i feel my photography adventure is coming to an end, at least doing it for money.

i really don't like doing it for money. it's becoming a chore.. actually.. it always has been.

i've always stressed about time limits, expectations, etc.

it's time i do it for me.

i will offer shoots for other people sometimes, but i want this to be more of a hobby.

which is funny, people usually want to make money from it, not the opposite.

but this is my decision.

not because of other people's criticism or choice.

because i feel it is what is right for me.

on to fun stuff:

i'm working on a rather large "project"

it included wandering around goodwill with my lovely friend alison.

in the process, we found the most beautiful shirts..

i make super cute faces when wearing such flattering shirts.

(i wish i had evidence of alison's equally sexy shirt)

I'm sad to report, we didn't purchase these... NOT! obviously they were awful.

another part of the project included crafting with my oh-so-adorable friend haley.stew . go check out her blog to see what she made!

this part of the project is not quite finished. but when it is, i will share it. :]

i will announce what the project is soon. promise.

at my current job we have fun.. most of the time.

we got to work in Home Theater the last couple weeks.

here is burtney (brittany). "HEY! Are you recording?" no burtney.. just a picture. hehe.

last night we made the biggest screen we've ever made. 38 ft x 75-ish ft..?

on my way to work one day i saw this man on his motorcycle who had one. single. GIGANTIC... dreadlock that went down to his buttox. and i mentally vommited. no offense, sir.

last week i had my wisdom teeth removed. i am no longer wise.

please excuse this scary picture of myself.. but who doesn't have a picture of them self after wisdom extraction?

fat face. it only lasted the first two days. and i didn't really feel any pain the whole time.

in my bored moments i painted my nails.. an ugly shade of NEON pink. on accident.. the lighting was dim when i did it.

i was also spoiled by my mom. she made me lots of mashed taters, soup, and.. smoothies.

vanilla bean ice cream, white chocolate chips, and strawberries.

yum.

i got a new job.. i start some time next week.

i will be working for Chase bank.

i get a badge with my name (and picture?) on it.

woohoo!

i suppose that is all the "exciting" things i have to offer for amusement.

i'm off to do important things including giving the job news to my boss. meh. and laundry.

arrivederci.

--sarah

c'est la vie.

2011-07-21T23:55:00.000-07:00

do you ever feel like some things just keep stepping in the way of what you think you're supposed to be doing, keeping you from reaching a goal?

every little thing keeps stopping the growth of my photography.

one: stupid technical issues {can't get the blog to run, website issues, domain transfer crap, etc.}

two: no money for equipment, especially because i constantly break rental items and have to pay for my damages because i'm clumsy and trip over things and land on my face and on the equipment.

three: {i know this one shouldn't really matter but...} rude remarks by people about my photography. or people saying i should do other things just in case if photography didn't work out. {it totally screws my confidence and hurts my feelings, and it's something hard to get over}

four: no time for photo shoots.

five: personal issues.

one moment i'm so inspired to do my best in photography. the next i want to give up.

and i really am ready to give up. at least, doing it for money.

i really don't like the pressure.

the nerves.

the time limits.

the stress.

i suppose i should talk to the Man in Charge and see what He thinks about this mess.

whatever decisions are made, i'm launching the new website tomorrow.. without the blog launch, seeing as it's not working.

i'll post the link on the facebook page tomorrow.

side note: it's funny how this happens - without even knowing i needed a friend to talk to, my lovely friend haley stewart {<--go read her blog. she's adorable and hilarious} sent me a message and cheered me up. love you haley.stew <3

i'm feeling more optimistic now.

my goal is that my next post will be 100% negative-free.

{full of fun pictures too}

p.s. i'm also considering deleting my facebook account.

meh. "c'est la vie."

at least, i'll have a life if i deactivate it.

ciao.

--Sarah

(i went to Sedona for my first time ever. it was a gorgeous morning.)

raw.

2011-06-03T23:47:00.000-07:00

disclaimer: this is not meant to offend any of the people i've called my friends, or for anyone to feel sorry for me. just another entry. emotions, thoughts, growth.

from the time i was born to now, i've never felt a sense of belonging.

i've had one singular best friend growing up, then as a preteen, another best friend came along and we made a triangle of bestfriendship.

even my own family sometimes, mostly just the computer games... cough World cough of Warcraft.. cough cough. {i really do love you guys! :P}

|joyschool| - with all of the kids in my ward, i saw them ALL the time. but i never felt that sense of belonging.

|junior high| no particular clique. hardly saw my best friends, because a) i moved to Show Low in the middle 8th grade and b) they were a grade ahead of me.

tried to fit in with girls from my new ward, no success really.

|9th grade| - first semester {in Show Low} - i hung out with seniors. obviously not fitting in..

{second semester - moved back to Mesa - went to Kino} made new friends, out of pity for me, i've always assumed, because all i did was sit by myself outside of orchestra, waiting for lunch to be over.

|sophomore year| - occasionally i'd hang out with them. trying so hard to be the right kind of goody-good-mormon-girl-friend, but in the end always having to invite myself.

|junior year| - cue: Nicholas. (not a bad thing. i do have a point to this) sometimes hanging out with mentioned friends.

best friends graduate. don't see one of them until a-whole-nother year later. the other i'd get together with a few times.

|senior year|- original best friend {"forever"} doesn't really speak to me for who knows what reason.

completely attached at the hip to Nicholas.

graduation.

--a year since--

new ward. primary calling. strangers.

still less than 1% {of a previous lifetime of} contact with original best friend.

practically zero amount of hanging out with friends. busy working. figuring out what to do with my life.

failing at sorting my miserable life out.

still trying to sort it out, frustrated in the process.

feeling lost.

where religion plays into this: i know they say "when you're lost, turn to God", but even when i have done all that i'm supposed to in the church, i don't fit in. i love the gospel with all my heart and know it is true and i trust Him with my whole existence {how ironic.. seeing how he really is the one in control.}, i'm not saying anything otherwise, promise. i guess i just haven't had a reassurance of my grand purpose on earth yet.

the only place i feel a real belonging, proud to claim the ownership to this title:

future wife and best friend to Nicholas Dale Waggoner.

the only person i know i can count on to spend time with me, even if i've already seen him that day,

to hold me when i cry,

to kiss my fears away,

to promise me everything will be alright,

to make me feel like a princess.

and i feel equal belonging to his family.

especially his mom- so sweet, loving, accepting, and amazing.

all of his family, including extended, have welcomed me with open arms. they all make me feel at home.

i really love them. i can't even explain the love i have for them.

i'm realizing the people i truly love are the ones that matter. i don't need to impress other people to feel like i belong. because i have people that love me for who i am. and this is the life that God has given me, so none of it is going to be taken for granted.

each day.

step by step.

i have so many more thoughts, and i haven't accurately written out all of the above thoughts, but it is now time for me to do something productive.

bonsoir, étoiles

newness.

2011-05-25T13:15:00.000-07:00

in the little time i have to update before i head off to work, i have a few things on my mind i need to jot down.

||one|| my heart is full today. full of creativity, ideas, passion.

||two|| i will be starting an inspiration blog soon. will i ever have time for it? who knows.

||three|| possibly going to start searching for a part time job so i can have time for creativity and school, respectively. mhmm.

||four|| i'm going to get more focused on my business. i want to do things right. i don't want to flop.

||five|| i love nicholas.

the end.

missing my life. if found, please contact me.

2011-04-21T09:49:00.000-07:00

Since starting my job, I have had time for nothing.

I work from 2-10:30pm, go to bed around midnight, wake up around 9am, do laundry, help people do this or that, run errands that usually consist of getting my dinner for work. Then do the same thing all over again.

Don't get me wrong, having money is nice, but I rather dislike my job. I won't explain why because there's a probability that someone from work will read this. Let's just say.... "it's the hours.."

I don't have time for photography.. Which is really frustrating. I "quit" {sort of} my other jobs so I'd have more time for photography.. And this job was for the sole purpose of saving up for new equipment. I've been working there 2 months, and not one paycheck has gone towards equipment.

Anyways. My whole reason for writing today was:

1. I don't have work today. Because of the abuse of power. {I'll leave it at that.}

2. I had to let everyone know I'm not dead, although sometimes I'd like to be.. {totally kidding}!

I am alive, but not living.

Some things as of late:

I got an iPhone.

I might be getting a Mac desktop sooner than I thought. {goodbye to this sucker of a computer!}

I paid my tithing for the first time since last May... I'm pathetic, I know.. :/

The vintage photoshoot I've been planning for a couple months is this Saturday. And this time it's really happening because I'm actually ready for it.

I'm shooting a wedding tomorrow! Rentals will be here in, at most, 2 hours! {squee! [haven't used that word in a long time]} 35mm of 1.4 goodness.. If only you were permanently mine...

I'm going to Globe on Saturday with my darling dearest Nicholas for his family's Easter Picnic. <3

And my favorite of all...

I am going to Disneyland for the first time in my life!!

Countdown: 8 days.

I'm going with my lovely best friend Justine and new friend Brittany.

I love those girls. It will be a blast!

Leaving just after work on Friday, driving all night, going to the beach early morning, heading to Disneyland, park hopper tickets {CA Adventure here I come!}, then driving home at midnight that night to be home in time for church Sunday morning.

Are we crazy? Hmm.. Yes, actually we are. :]

All three of us recently went to the zoo:

Yes. We brought happy birthday balloons to the zoo, but they wouldn't let us take them in.

So happy the lovely people of Starbucks like to play along.

I had more pictures to share, but my computer is currently {always} being a pain in the rear end.

So remember, I'm not dead.

I just have a crazy life right now and I'm trying my best to sort it out with the little time I have.

But for now, on my day off, I'm going to go get some new knobbies for my little secretary desk, and I'm going to paint my desk white. Also paint some of the cute little things for our photoshoot this Saturday.

Au Revoir!

full potential

2010-12-30T18:41:00.000-07:00

"Empty pockets never held anyone back. Only empty heads and empty hearts can do that."

Norman Vincent Peale

My heart has been feeling a little empty in the last few months. My cup hasn't spilled over, nor has it even been filled. Until last night, my heart has been a completely empty, dirty cup.

I could ramble on about my entire night and about my date with Nicholas. But I will spare you the chatter. As he walked me to my door last night at 12:25am, I hoped for a nice kiss, he had other plans {I've been sick for the last few days and he didn't want to get what I had, again}. So he left me with a big hug and a kiss on the forehead. The simple gesture was more than I needed. It was like the feeling of the first time holding hands. I had a feeling last night was a different kind of night.

Shortly after he left, I opened my e-mail to a lovely message from a bride-to-be, inquiring about my photography. I was so excited, I told Nic all about it. He in turn told me he had some exciting news. He'd finally decided to go on his mission.

My cup filled.

I cried and cried. For the longest time. I took several trips to the bathroom to grab tissue paper.

My first thought was, "Oh crap, this means we can't get married sooner." {How stupid, stupid, STUPID of me to be thinking that.}

Second thought was, "HE'S GOING!!! YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY!!!!!!!"

Third thought was, "I'm going to die from missing him! Two years is SO long!!!"

Last thought, "It's worth it, I can and will wait."

I really am so super happy for him!

Before last night, I thought it wouldn't be so bad to have an average life, working average jobs, doing average things. Honestly, I was leaning towards not caring if Nic went on a mission or not.

I used to vow that I would not end up like my older siblings {no offense, guys}, living on the edge. And I can't believe I let myself think it would be okay to stoop to that level, maybe not so severely, but it is less than I am worth. I am a daughter of God and He knows my full potential, and He helped me realize that I am worth more.

I want an adventurous life, a life full of spectacular things, the greatest job, the greatest future, a life filled with the gospel of Jesus Christ. And I won't hold myself back with an empty heart.

I missed the spirit of Christ this Christmas, but I think He was just waiting for me to be ready to listen and search for it.

I LOVE my Savior Jesus Christ, and I am grateful for the life He gave for me.

I love the gospel and all the things in it and I am blessed to be a part of it.

I know my Heavenly Father watches over me and guides me.

I said I wouldn't make a New Years Resolution, but I take that back for this one goal,

to keep my heart full of the spirit,

and keep it full no matter how hard things get.

I am blessed.

My cup runneth over.

Arrivederci

P.S. I love my job.

Soulographer Giveaway - Last week

2010-12-28T07:36:00.001-07:00

This is the last week for a Soulographer giveaway, and it's the biggest giveaway of them all. So head on over and enter in the contest. Super easy to enter. :]

www.soulographer.com

approval.

2010-12-21T12:26:00.000-07:00

This year has been.. an interesting one to say the least.

So many hopes. So many dreams.

So many successes. A few failures.

Too many decisions.

The idea I had when I was 13 of being an adult was completely different than how it really is now. My mom has always said that I really did act like I was 9 going on 20, or 13 going on 30, etc.

{"An independent spirit."}

How wrong was I to wish that could really happen.

Nic and I used to say, "Let's go elope. Right now." Which one of us would respond, "We're not 18, we'd need parental approval." Of course, always as a complete joke.

Now...

I'm 18.

And it dawned on me, I can make my own decisions.

My own huge decisions.

Ones that can lead to failure. Ones that can lead to success.

{Nic and I don't plan to elope if that's what you think I'm saying. Not what I'm getting at.}

The problem is that I still think, "My parents will probably say no."

"My parents would be upset if I moved out."

"My parents would not like it if I stayed out until 1am without telling them."

"My parents would love it if I did..."

"My parents..."

You get the idea.

All my decisions are based off of my parents.

I can't do that forever.

{I'm not trying to be disrespectful, Mom. Just trying to think like an adult right now.}

I'm starting to realize that I CAN'T always make decisions on what they tell me to do.

I have to woman up and make the decisions for myself.

Whether I have their approval or not on all of my decisions,

I need to be my own person.

I started writing this post to announce that I am seriously considering going to school for dental hygiene. I've always loved the idea.

I've always loved going to the dentist,

I've always been interested in the medical field.

And I've always loved the idea of mostly being a mom,

and with dental hygiene, I can do it on the side-- I couple days a week, and also use it as a back-up plan in case something ever happens with photography.

I would still be doing photography, I will always do it. And it will be my second main focus. First comes family, of course.

My thoughts just kind of left the topic and started rambling.

I may not have the best grammar, but I'm so much better at expressing my feelings and thoughts in words.

And when my heart is just filling up to the brim with thoughts, I need to write.

One thing is for sure.

I am going to make a New Years Resolution, to not make a New Years Resolution.

Because who actually does all of their goals anyway?

My hope, is to take every day one step at a time and enjoy each day I have to live, without the pressure of having to eat a certain way, or force myself to do anything, just to be able to cross off a little phrase on a list.

My mind has drifted to completely off topic things.

All having nothing to do with each other, so I'm headed off to a glorious day of living, loving, and finding things to gift people with for Christmas.

Maybe I'll enjoy the lovely day with a beautiful bike-ride on my snazzy purple beach cruiser.

Have a gorgeous Tuesday.

Auf Wiedersehen<3

Soulographer Giveaway

2010-12-15T14:27:00.000-07:00

Skye from Work of Heart Photography is doing a HUGE holiday giveaway. There will be 30 winners this week. Seriously, go enter here!

www.soulographer.com

stranger.

2010-12-12T09:40:00.000-07:00

I will not explain what has been going on as of late.
But I will say this:
I feel like a stranger in my own home.
I am uncomfortable {to say the least} living here.
Purely uncomfortable.

Anyone have a spot open for a roommate?

Sigh.

~

Nic took me on a date last night.
Beforehand we had this conversation over text:

Nic: "I got your Christmas present. I hope you'll use it a lot. It's big and it cost $98."

Me: "Great, just what I need, something else to fit into my room. I'm sure I'll love it."

"Oh you will. It's a really cool purple.. Can you guess it yet?"

"A Barney costume? I don't know. Haha."

Then at almost 9pm {Yes, we are forced to go on dates that late because of his work.}

He shows up with a purple beach cruiser.

I am SO excited about this.

I have been wanting a beach cruiser forever.

He's the best.

Then we head off to San Tan.

On the way he mentions, "That's not your Christmas Present, by the way."

"WHAT?? Then what was it?"

"Just because."

Basically he spoils me.

And I don't deserve it.

We went shopping for a little. Then went to see the new Narnia. Which is basically wonderful!

Seriously, the best of them so far.

I cried {as usual}.

Nic laughed at me {as usual}.

It's a pretty usual scene at any movie for us. :]

I love our dates because we love to laugh together.

And we do nothing but laugh the entire time.

Boy, do I love that man.

~

I'm almost caught up on editing and everything from this year. So excited to start next year!
Here's a picture from what I've been working on {and just finished last night!}

It's time for church.

Au revoir.

a little {or a lot} of a daydream.

2010-12-09T13:22:00.000-07:00

Today started as crap.
So much for not causing drama.
Went better.
Went okay.
Went pretty well.
Got a parking ticket.
Went awful.
Had a breakdown.
Looked up apartment prices and locations...
Considered being homeless. {not}
Bawled my eyes out.
Decided I won't say much out loud today.
Not in the mood to speak.
Thought about the future wedding.

I think I'd prefer a small backyard wedding,
Preferably the last couple days in November or the first week in Dec.
When the sun sets the earliest.
A beautiful, simple elegant dress,
DIY chic decor.
First a luncheon with the closest friends/relatives.
Consisting of bread-bowl broccoli cheese coup, baked potato soup, etc. Hot chocolate, apple cider, etc. Other yummy winter-y foods.
Then a come and go afternoon reception.
With little "before-dinner" munchies for the guests.
Small, quaint, intimate.
Romantic and fun dancing, no "fist-pumping" crap.
With the party ending by 7, in time to leave in our goodbye outfits,
to head off to a nice romantic dinner with Nicholas.
And off to the honeymoon.

I want it to be classy, vintage chic.

Sounds like a perfect wedding to me.
But one thing has to be expensive..
The photography.
I don't care if my wedding might be small.. I have to have pictures I will absolutely love.

Wedding inspirations:

And my most favorite dress. Ever:

Okay. I'll stop drooling now.

pet peeves, revised.

2010-12-08T17:52:00.000-07:00

So this was written out in a long, evil rant of mine, written in the form of.. Something not nice.
But I decided my mom would be upset with me for saying some of the things I said..
So I will just give you my list of a couple pet peeves, in hopes of getting my point across.

~

un - drama
deux - sharing my clothes, shoes, and other personal items
trois - back stabbers
quatre - when all that comes out of someone's mouth is "whine whine whine. wah wah wah." simply put, complainers.
cinq - two-faced people.
six - suffocating {I mean that figuratively} from lack of personal space. I have a bubble, and I'm not just talking about how close someone could be standing to me..
sept - a certain word, that if I hear again, I will break a jaw or slit a tongue.

~

I really wish I could say what I originally wrote,
but alas, I hate drama, and I don't want to be the cause of it.
even though this may be pushing it too..

With one last comment, relating to the above pet peeve list, I want to move out. I'm not even joking. And it's not because of my parents. Heavenly Father, bless their souls. They are the most wonderful parents ever, on the truth.

With much annoyance, frustration, and break downs,
Sarah

~

I know. I have been complaining a lot too lately. But in a real life conversation, how often do I whine about the same things over and over? {Okay, Nic, Besides when I talk to you.}

nostalgia:

2010-10-28T20:06:00.000-07:00

1. A wistful or excessively sentimental yearning for return to or of some past period or irrecoverable condition

When your friends make less of an effort to include you than you do, you kind of give up.

I was always the first to text, always the first to ask if there was something planned in the week.

So, I've given up. Actually.. I kind of gave up a long time ago, at least mentally.

I tried to be one of those girls that everyone in the group could come to.

Subconsciously I knew my efforts were useless.

I've also kind of stopped caring.

No, I'm not complaining. Just simply stating.

I've been in a state of nostalgia lately.

No, I haven't been missing high school, I've just been missing the bigger connection to society.

I've been an outcast for 5 months and I've been finding myself rather bored.

And I miss my old home.

And my real best friends.

The real best friends that we'd play in treehouses together.

The real best friends that would go on walks with our dogs and bring them all back to go swimming with all of us. And constantly Shy Anne would try to murder our dog, Heidi.

The best friend that wouldn't let me sign her yearbook when she graduated because it wasn't the last time I was going to see her, yet it was a whole entire year before I saw her again.

And my other best friend who I will always call my best friend.

The best friend that let me feed her hedgehog mealworms until it probably was about to barf.

The best friend that always asks questions, after we haven't talked for a while, willing to listen to what I have to say, no matter how unimportant my words may be.

I love her. I don't know if she'll ever know how much I admire her.

If she's reading this, she'll know who she is...

Especially when I tell her "I can't wait to get mehdeeeeeeeeeed."

I think I'm getting sick.

I have the chills and my head feels congested.

And I sound like my nose is clogged.

And I feel like I'm burning.

Time to go eat ice cream.

Mhmm. Remedy for fevers-- ice cream.

It's proven.

{by moi}

Sianara!

I'll leave you with a pretty.

{even though, I'm sure you all have seen it by now}

If you can't see my nose, that's because your screen is too bright.

My screen has {almost} perfect calibration.

booyah.

Moving on, is a simple thing, what it leaves behind is hard.

2010-10-24T09:44:00.000-07:00

Last night I decided... I hate moving.

I don't like living here.

I waste gas.

I waste time.

I don't have any friends.

The last time I saw my old friends was about a month ago.

The only person I hang out with is Nic.. Which is fine for now..

But when he goes on his mission.. What am I going to do?

{I think I will go to Single's Ward in January just so I can make friends my age.}

I've had nothing but nightmares since moving.

I feel like our house is haunted--It feels like there's something watching me when I'm downstairs.

Basically the only rooms in the house I use are my bedroom, my.... our.. bathroom, and the loft.

I want my own bathroom back-- {I'm having to share it with 4 boys when there's a perfectly good bathroom upstairs.. "The shower's too cold" Wah wah! Let me tell you... My bathroom is only like 5ftx7-8ft. The other day I went to potty and the toilet was clogged. I hate boys}.

I want my bed back.. {but for some odd reason my mom insists that my bedroom be the guest bedroom forever.. and that I keep this huge bed, which wastes space. Which doesn't make any sense. And I was only able to use my new bed with a whole new frame.. and a whole new mattress set for maybe 3 months.}

I don't think this will ever feel like home.

I really want to move out.

I wish I could.

I need somewhere that feels like my own space.

That probably won't happen until Nic and I get married.

Because I have to save money for said, marriage.

I don't even know what to say now.. I have so much on my mind..

And no one wants to hear it anyways.

Bye.

Obsession

2010-10-22T11:33:00.000-07:00

I'm kind of obsessed with this shop:

And I'm really obsessed with these photographers:

{Who capture these gorgeous brides wearing similar, if not the ones from the same shop, crowns}

{I got to see these photographers as they were taking pictures of these two at the temple. I kind of acted like a retarded, obsessed fan-girl.}

Please love these images with me. Perfect. See the whole post here

{Crown from WhichGoose, the shop above}

If Angie or Matt Sloan were to ever look at my blog {pshh.. yeah right.}, I want them to know I love them. Seriously.

Pure inspiration with every image.

My heart melts when I look at their blog. Raw emotion.

I hope that they can do our wedding pictures in the future.

Monsieur.N hates short wedding dresses.. And all things hippie {the crown}.. But I'm going to beg him to let us do some pictures like these in the future, just for fun. I don't care, I will buy an extra, short wedding dress, just to have fun pictures. I love short dresses.

They are just darling.

And I love shoe clips:

Found here

Both found here

Can you tell I'm in a wedding mood?

Are you dying of picture overload? Not me. I can never get enough. :]

I have a picture/photography affair... err... Obsession.

I don't know what else to say. My mind is on other things.. {like what exciting things are happening for Sarah Waggs Photography for next year, which are a secret. :P }

So I'm going to go brainstorm and work on those other things.

Aren't you just anxious? I am. :]

Toodles!

P.S.&btw: If you've never heard my voicemail message for my phone.. I say "Toodles" in it. Seriously.

Ward camp-out photo recap.

2010-10-19T23:15:00.000-07:00

It's been a crazy week.

The Saturday before last, I shot a wedding for Megan & Tim Stice. LOVED it. The images turned out so good! I'm excited to get them edited.

Then, Thursday we went on a ward camp-out.. We went up a day early.

But we had to come home early because I had to go second shoot a wedding with Brittany Hogan. Which was another 2 hours away. Then back home that night and off to church in the morning to practice the Primary Program, which was a slight disaster. I love our class though. SO cute.

It went a little something along the lines of:

Little Sammy asked "Sister Love, are you married?"

"Nope, I won't be for a while."

"Well, I would marry you."

Could he get any sweeter? :]

Earlier the sister of one of my little girls {who reminds me SO much of Bonnie Stapley} asked:

"Are you Sister Love? Morgan talks about you all the time. She loves you."

Aww.

Like I said, I love our class.

I will share a few out of the 500 pictures I took on the camp out.. Haha. And all of them are unedited. I got too lazy. Maybe someday I'll edit some.

{Thomas turned 16 yesterday. WEIRD. Happy Birthday bro!} :]

Mwahahaha. My mom is going to kill me when she sees this..

Ted, our foreign exchange student from China.

Patrick, our other foreign exchange student from Denmark.

Super yummy tin-foil dinner. Mmm. Yum yum.

Oh hai, Edward wanna-be. Hehe. Just kidding.

Oh hai, awkward, trying-to-be-serious-while-everyone-else-was-in-WalMart Sarah.

Making din.din.

Haha. Oh Ted.

Flutterby.

Pretty much every Monday night you can find our family playing cards. It's our favorite FHE activity. Haha.

This little boy is SO cute!

Thomas and the guitar were pretty much attached at the hip the whole time, having a talent battle with the Stapley girls. Ooh la la. Just kidding, T-rex. :P

There was MUCH softball playing. I miss playing on a team.

Haha. Fail.

Oh lovely D.

I love the Dahl's. :]

Bahaha. I love candid camping pictures.

Doodling is another pass-time for my mom and I.

Tennis dodge-ball.

These two boys are twins. And their younger brother there has a twin sister. I feel sorry for their parents. Haha.

I thought this little camping neighbor was SO cute.

"A tooty tah a tooty tah a tooty tah tah"

Who be that center left?

Oh hai, Bishop! :]

Conclusion 1: I much prefer pine tree camping. I hate the desert. But that's old news.

Conclusion 2: I love our ward. And our bishop. Mwahaha. :]

{Oh Bishop Bullock, you are so welcome for the lovely picture of you doing the Tooty Tah Tah. :]

I'm actually getting off of my computer before 12.. It's a miracle.

That doesn't mean I'm going to bed though... ;]

I'm going to go gather inspiration.

Ciao!

3 attempts, 3 fails, and the awkward conversation.

2010-10-05T21:12:00.000-07:00

It is day 6 since I last wrote a blog post. I have tried 3 times to write a new one, each time I'm interrupted, forced to save Ze Post as a draft. So here I am, one more time, trying to write again.

I'm determined to finish.

I was offered jobs at both the Children's Place & Aeropostale.

I'm going with Aeropostale.

The C's P. pushed their company credit card. Not so much in support of it.

Now I can still work in retail, without having to be pushy.

Squee!

To quote myself, which I do quite often, from the eff.bee:
"It's 84 degrees outside, and I'm still hating the heat.. There's something wrong with me. The other day I loved being in the freezingness of the Costco fruit & veggie room. I'm destined to live somewhere cold I think."

How many times do I have to say it.. I have never been meant to live in Arizona for the rest of my life. {Watch, I'll end up never leaving just because I talk about it so much}

~

You know those awkward conversations with someone you haven't talked to or seen in a million years,
especially from a place you've been trying so hard to forget:
"Hey, do you remember me?"
or
"Hey, I haven't talked to you in so long"

Yeah. That's because I've been avoiding you.
Just kidding.

You talk about college. You talk about love life. And family.
Then it ends with that awkward "Oh, I just remembered I had to do that one thing for my grammy.. Her copier is jammed.. yaddayadda.
And they're still. logged. on. 30 minutes later.

Genius.

Those conversations are my favorite, mostly because I'm laughing on the inside about how I really was trying to forget you. Well, not necessarily Y-O-U. But the place you came from and all that those 10 months entailed.

I have a weird sense of humor.

~

Like how I find this conversation funny:
"Stop tickling me, I have to toot."
"Sarah, I think we have gotten too comfortable with each other to be talking about farting in front of each other."
"At least mine don't stink.. Dang, now I have no battle weapon to use against you in the future." {Referring to a story I'd heard from a coworker at AZ Bridal when she suffocated her husband with a nasty one, under their comforter.}
What can I say.. I grew up with 6 brothers and only 1 sister.

~

I have lots of exciting things happening this week.
1. OhMiGosh. It rained heffalumps and woozles today!!
okay. so that's not really one.
2. I'm doing a photoshoot for some fun teens on Friday for a birthday.
3. I'm shooting a wedding! Yay! Haven't had one for a while. I've been dying.
Really.
4. I'm taking pictures of 4 seriously adorable children, of the amazing woman I team teach with in Primary.
She is amazing. She makes these darling gems known as the Vintage Rose Wraps.
Order some. They're worth it and SO cute!

Okay. I'll stop talking now. :]
Bonne Nuit!

perfect.

2010-09-29T20:14:00.000-07:00

I want to live somewhere perfect.

Where I can host outdoor parties.
Where I can grow pretty plants, the non-cacti kind.
Where I can have a beautiful garden of yummy veggies and fruit.
Where Nic and I can sit out on the porch swing, dead-center-summer, and watch our kids play in the front yard.
Where my car can be allowed to not have AC in the summer {Not that I would want to drive without it, but I already am in this dag-blasted heat}
Where our kids can go trick-or-treating and not worry if they're going to melt in their costumes.
Where there's not a dead spot in photoshoots, at least in the summer. Winter I don't mind so much.

Me: "I want to live somewhere that has Show Low weather, without the Show Low part."

Nic: "It rarely snows in coastal Oregon."

Me: "Perfect."

I need out of here.

This heat bugs.

Come on- it's almost October.

I might get a job at The Children's Place or Aeropostale.

Excited.

Yes.

I'm sure it'll be much better than my last experience.

I'm feeling low in self-worth and esteem lately.

It's my own fault.

I started going to institute. It's nice. I miss seminary.

I've been daydreaming a lot lately.

Imagining.

Hoping.

Wishing.

sighing.

lots of sighing.

"Perfect" is the perfect word to describe how I'm feeling..

If you want to be sarcastic and slightly amusing.

I use "I" a lot.

How are you feeling?

"Well this road I'm on is gonna turn to sand, and leave me lost in a far off land. So let me ride the wind till I don't look back, and forget the life that I almost had. "

--Peter Bradley Adams

I sort of have a picture to post:

There will be more on the photo blog soon. But to see the other couples from this homecoming group, go here.

Au revoir.

P.S. I'm legal as of 9 days ago.

Happy belated birthday to me.

yee.haw

"This house is a disaster!!!"

2010-09-10T09:32:00.000-07:00

All I saw was the couch cushions kind of frumpy and crooked.

Oh wait......

There is the kitchen, dining room, and family room. Let's see..

There's david and thomas' mess of their science project that included candy and toothpicks.

Thomas' shoes everywhere,

grilled cheese leftover mess that didn't have to be so messy,

everyone leaving their dishes everywhere,

a bag of something that looks like David's swimming clothes from 4 days ago,

the laundry room is piled with... Gasp! The boys' clothes. What do you know?

And the list goes on...

Hmm.. Where is all of Sarah's stuff?

Oh, right!

She's not so much of a burden after all because she puts everything away when she's done and doesn't leave all of her stuff around the house.

But I do admit, there is one pan that I used to make pizza yesterday. That's it.

The only thing I really mess up is my room/closet, only because no one has to look at it. And I even cleaned and organized it yesterday, thank you very much.

My mom has been psycho about cleaning the house lately. Whenever I hear the words "This house is a disaster!!!" I get ready to be asked to clean it top to bottom. Spic and Span.

Normally we do all of the cleaning on Saturdays, as do most families, but it looks like their won't be much cleaning tomorrow since one person is doing it all today.

I know I'm living here for free since I graduated and all, and I'm not "working" at the moment..

{I still am making money on photography and I still have clients.. It's just REALLY slow.}

But uh.. She shouldn't be pulling the "You're living here for free" card.. Because if we get down to technical aspects.. I'm still not 18 {10 days!}. So I couldn't really sign a contract for an apartment or anything.

And plus, a lot of teenagers get around 18 and a half years of living at home for free because they're finishing up their last year of high school.. Don't I get credit for finishing early? I mean, they could have me not contributing at all while I'd be still in school, having dive practice 24/7, being student body president, having mounds of homework on top of that. Wouldn't that be the dream child?

Okay. Enough rambling because I don't really have a point and I could go on forever.. which I already did.

It's a battle that can't be won, because eventually I'll get married, move out, and have to help pay for our living anyways.

I'm not really angry about anything I've said. It was more like a smidge of annoyance and I just felt like being dramatic, because really, I don't mind cleaning. I even enjoy it, I just need motivation sometimes.

My mom suggested contributing by making dinner most nights...

Not sure how I feel about THAT one. I'm a great baker, not the greatest cook.

But I'd like to try anyways.

I don't think I'd feel too bad if they ate burned food every night... They'd asked for it. :P

Just kidding.

Seriously, I'm done typing now, after a million words.

I hope everyone has a lovely Friday. :]

P.S. {I promise, this is short} Check out the photo blog. I redesigned it recently. It's cute.

And there's a post with pictures of my brother.

Call me a liar.

2010-09-06T15:37:00.000-07:00

Because I lied about posting pictures. My computer has been a poop lately.

I finally decided to scan it for viruses and junk.. Turns out it's infected with the worst Trojan alive!

Okay. That's a lie too.

I think I just had photoshop running for too long and it became unresponsive, thus causing my whole computer to lag. Boo.

Maybe some day I'll stop being a liar about things I'd said I'd do. Liar sounds kind of harsh... Promise-breaker? No. That's worse. Meh.

Want to know what's magical?

Rocking and singing a baby to sleep.

Sometimes I think I might be a failure of a mother in the future.

But singing Little Sean to sleep gave me some hope and confidence.

I want to be the best mom ever.

Want to know something fantastic?

I REDISGNED MY PHOTO BLOG.

I didn't lie about that!

Check it out: Sarah.Waggs.Photography

Want to know the best thing ever?

I'm turning 18 in 2 weeks.
Yes my stalkers, that is right.

I decided to have a party.

Not sure of what to do.

Jess suggested a Luau. I'm thinking. Heck to the freakin' yes.

Hawaiin haystacks, shaved ice, and limbo.

I dig, I dig!

No pictures this time, I'm a failure. {again}

Cheerio my friends.

P.S. Speaking of Cheerios, the new season of Glee starts 2 weeks from tomorrow.

Happy birthday to me! :]

Why am I testing the Holy Ghost?

2010-08-31T07:54:00.000-07:00

Every school day my family wakes up at 5:30. Luckily I get to sleep an extra hour before they wake me up for family prayers at 6:30. I wander out of my room half asleep and fall fully asleep on the floor with my face shoved into a couch pillow, waiting for everyone to gather their things and kneel around the room. While still 75% asleep, I wait for the word, "Amen." Every morning, the same routine. Except for this morning.

I sauntered back to my room to try and fall back asleep. However, as soon as I laid back down I was wide awake, fully conscious of the beautiful light created by the low sun. Then out of nowhere I had a desire to go to the temple. Mostly just to be there and feel the spirit, but to also take pictures of it's peaceful glory. I kept thinking, "Oh, I have to be in that area around 2pm or 4-ish, so I don't want to drive 15 minutes there and 15 minutes back when I'm going to have to do that later. I'll go tomorrow."

Uhmm, hello, Sarah. WHY are you testing the Holy Ghost? WHY are you procrastinating? WHY are you telling God you'll meet with Him tomorrow when you need him right now, every second of every day?

I'm not sure if I can answer that, I don't know why. But I know the feeling I had was Heavenly Father saying that I need to be closer to Him and that I need that right now. As I'm typing, the beautiful golden light is fading, only to return again tomorrow. Then again, what if the lighting isn't as perfect tomorrow or there's no bold, praising clouds framing the temple like there was this morning? Then there goes the pictures, but that doesn't mean I can't still worship and draw myself closer to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. Which means I plan on going tonight {along with tomorrow morning} and dragging Nic along with me. Since I will be in the area. ;]

It also means that I plan on doing spontaneous Baptisms for the Dead visits. Just me, myself, and I, to strengthen my relationship with Heavenly Father, because I need it like sugar for a sweet tooth right now.

Oh glorious Tuesday.

I hope everyone has a lovely day and finds peace within the havoc. :]

P.S. Glee is on tonight. Yipee!

P.P.S. I'm getting highlights in my hair today. I will finally post pictures of the blonde I've become over the last two months. :]

P.P.P.S. I don't have any pictures to post today, only because my camera is not cooperating, so I can't download any of the pictures off of it, so I will be getting a card reader sometime today. I will dedicate a post tomorrow all for pictures. :]

"Every great movement of God can be traced to a kneeling figure."

2010-08-20T23:24:00.000-07:00

How am I doing?

Fan.Freaking.Tastic

How are you doing? That's what I want to know.

If I have any creeper readers out there, please, let me know how you're doing.

I like people that are nice.

Unlike the rude person who called the store today.

"Uhmm... it's August and you're telling me I can't order a dress and get it in by December? Then forget it."

Click.

What I wanted to say was, "No, sorry sweetie, our dresses take at least 6 months to order, because they're hand-sewn. You know all those tiny little beads all over the dresses? Yeah, that kind of takes a while. So you're not going to get this kind of service everywhere."

Oh well.

However, I am seriously thinking about quitting.

The job makes me feel stupid and I get all flustered and feel like I'm more of a nuisance to everyone there than a friend.

{And there's really no benefits to working there, because I do NOT plan on working there until I get married. That's 2 & 1/2 years away. No thank you. Plus, I don't like the idea of commissions.}

I never realized how valuable my Saturdays were until I started working there.

I'm just afraid of quitting after only a month of working there.

But there is SO many things I could be doing on Saturdays, mostly dealing with photography.

And going on adventures with the future hubs who is leaving on his mission in a few months.

I will miss that boy like heck. Hopefully it will go by fast.

I'm feeling the giant need to pray lately, but why can't I get my stubborn butt and knees on the floor?

I usually pray sitting up in my bed, then inching my way down throughout the prayer, and most of the time, falling asleep before it's finished.

Number Sixteen: Pray every night on my knees.

There's not much more to say tonight, except that I'm feeling positively happy, loved, and blessed.

That is all.

Not.

I almost forgot a pretty picture.

Normally I don't like to post pictures from my photography for clients unless I'm linking it to the blog,

but right now the photo blog is under construction. So here you go. :]

I don't know why, but I'm in love with this picture.

If you're not a fan already or would like to see more from this photoshoot, go here.

**Title quote by D.L. Moody

{the.end}

2010-08-19T12:49:00.000-07:00

I made my blog private for only 2 days. Consider that an "epic" fail. I hate that word.

Epic.

Ugly and overused.

I changed my mind about making the blog private. I can't decide on the reason why, I just know writing makes me happy, and it's easier to keep up on a blog than a journal.

However, there will be changes to the blog.

Notice the CAPITAL LETTERS??? :]

And at least somewhat proper grammar and English?

I decided, writing like I was, I sounded like a 10 year old with their first facebook account.

{P.S. I think I've said it before, but little kids should STAY OFF OF FACEBOOK!}

Lykee ohh my goshh??? i SoUnD sO rEEEdIcuLoUs!!!

Okay, so it wasn't that dramatic, but using proper grammar makes me feel like I did when I actually tried to make everything perfect. Not to say I can do anything perfectly, only referring to trying my hardest and being at the "top of my game."

However, this will not stop me from using spaces to emphasize a change in subject or anything of the like.

I hate paragraph structures.

Also, I'm changing the name and design of the blog.

I just need to come up with something fun.

Lastly, I will not mention anything negative about the people I love.

As in, it isn't anyone's business about who did what to make me sad.

Because it doesn't matter, I still love my family/friends and I know within the next 24 hours, the tiff will be over.

With all of that being said,

it's time to get to work and...

---

OH. I am also going to be more creative and post inspirational things and crafty things I've been doing {along with other things done by other people that inspire me}.

And I'm going to make it a goal to always add at least one picture, but it has to be my own {Starting with the next post. I have nothing artsy to post this time due to this spur of the moment blogging}.

---

...have fun, be inspirational, be creative, and be happy.

{the.beginning}

whole-heartedly

2010-08-16T23:31:00.000-07:00

any time i argue with anyone,

especially him,

i feel like part of my heart is being ripped out.

i'm not a contender.

so to argue really hurts.

i only argue when i feel it's unfair to be put down, when i didn't do anything really wrong or worth arguing about.

arguing is making something out of nothing.

it's better to leave nothing as it is.

but does that mean to just let someone put you down and to just say you're sorry?

i suppose.

in my case, it just might be better.

oh well.

number eleven: make a difference in the world. bring sunshine to someone else's day, even when my day isn't going well. especially on those days.

number twelve: go on a spontaneous road-trip.

number thirteen: breathe normal.

number fourteen: visit the phoenix children's hospital regularly and spend time and play with the kids.

number fifteen: donate to the hospital.

**there would be pictures, but i haven't really taken many photos for myself within the last few weeks.

well... kind of.

i'll post some maybe tomorrow.

goodnight stars.

bring me sweet dreams.

i am a dreamer, take me higher, open the sky up, start a fire.

2010-08-09T22:37:00.000-07:00

sometimes i feel like i daydream too much.

like it's slightly unhealthy.

but i can't help but yearn for things i want to do in this life.

so i'm creating my bucket-list:

number one: be fluent in french.

number two: go to france.

number three: be able to go to bed early and wake up early every day

number four: own my own photography studio.

number five: live in a northwestwern state. {utah, colorado, idaho, washington, oregon.} {i'd also kill to live somewhere in europe. probably wouldn't happen.}

number six: have a future house that will be on the rather large side, cutely decorated, and organized.

number seven: have 5-7 kids.

number eight: go to the temple often.

number nine: go to disneyland.

number ten: have an adventure, learn to not be scared of new things.

i will slowly add more as they come up, and i will update them on the blog, so you can hope with me too. :P

i had something important to say..

but now i can't remember what it was.

on an ending note:

“The starting point of great success and achievement has always been the same. It is for you to dream big dreams. There is nothing more important, and nothing that works faster than for you to cast off your own limitations than for you to begin dreaming and fantasizing about the wonderful things that you can become, have, and do.”

--Brian Tracy

ending picture:

i love emily porter photography and i can't stop staring at this picture:

everything about it is perfect.

oh happy day, oh happy d-a-a-ay

2010-08-05T15:19:00.000-07:00

"over the last year i've realized i think in pictures and i imagine each moment as it being a movie. and i always expect the worst, because in movies, it gets worse before it gets better. so i decided i should probably think more logically than i have. it's causing problems. it's made me more emotional {not a good emotional} than i should be."

--stated on facebook

when thinking in pictures helps on the creative side,

it's not helping in every day reality.

this overdramatic attitude makes me second-guess ALL of my decisions.

so when i make a decision, based on the promptings of the holy ghost,

i know it's right.

THEN i get more feelings later that it's not right

and i think it's the holy ghost telling me that.

it happens with everything i choose to do.

so i've come to the realization that it's not the holy ghost telling me it's the wrong thing EVERY time

{because let's face it, how could i second guess my choice of photography???

it's perfect for me, Heavenly Father has helped me realize that}

and it's just my assumptions that everything in my life is going to go wrong.

because when i pray about my decisions again,

i get the feeling that what i'm doing is right.

so i should probably stop pestering Heavenly Father

because He knows i'll eventually figure out that i made the right decision in the first place.

i just have to tell myself to stop being such a drama queen,

and remember what truly feels right.

and that every day is only as happy as i make it.

seriously.

so, once again, i'm making the goal to simply, be happy.

and i am.

today is a happy day.

even if i had to sit through hours of training videos

and have my chocolate melt in my purse.

because it doesn't matter, when i'm loved by God and family and friends.

{and at least i got to eat most of the chocolate before it melted. :P }

speaking of friends, i will force myself to not be a hermit and actually have a good time with awesome people.

keep your chin up, sarah, and you will do great things

pretty picture? yes.

pretty picture? baha.. no. look at that weirdy. :P

just kidding. :]

au revior!

easy?

2010-08-02T11:03:00.000-07:00

why did i think this would be easy?

yeah sarah, let's just switch schools last second and hope everything goes smoothly.

yeah right.

i'm freaking out.

life is freaking me out.

what did they say at graduation?

life sucks?

no.. that wasn't it.

there is 3 weeks left until school starts

payments for my classes were due a couple days ago.

i had only 2 classes chosen so far.

i still have to do placement tests and junk.

i should have thought about all of this in june when i'd changed my mind..

i have no money.

neither do my parents {well, you know}

i probably don't qualify for the presidential scholarship because i slacked off.

not that i did bad, i just didn't do as good as i could have.

i know i'm smart, lately i just haven't felt like trying.

i used to put my whole heart and soul into school projects.

i've also been contemplating jobs..

i keep thinking "oh, i'm not that great at photography,

i'm not going to get very far"

but then i remembered "uhmm, hello, i'm sarah love, i can do it"

but then i think

"there's nothing else i'd want to do except be a stay at home mom and teach piano lessons.

but of course, i have to be good at that..

and getting better requires lessons for myself.

lessons require money.

money, i have not"

nic is also having to make hard decisions.

no further detail on that.

but i just feel like things are kind of falling apart in a way.

neither of us knows what we want anymore.

is that how adulthood is SUPPOSED to be?

if so, i hate it.

can i go to neverland?

fairy dust please, tink?

boredom = below

monday melodies, post number 100

2010-07-26T22:37:00.000-07:00

i was deciding if i should save post #100 for something exciting..

but today deserves this post.

as the day reached about 11 o' clock,

monsieur N and i had a argument on the subject of a "taxi"{more inside detail, not to be explained}...

it was about as heated as it could get over text.

i called, his phone rang 3 times, then went to voicemail.

both times

i figured he was ignoring my calls.

i slammed my phone on the counter

the touch screen shattered {but luckily still works. i think i've learned my lesson of having my phone in my hands when i'm upset}

the argument died, thank goodness.

and it was back to lovey-dovey.

the reminder made me happy that our arguments normally last no more than 15 minutes.

and i know that any arguments we have in the future are minuscule compared to the eternity we will spend together in love and agreement.

after making up and making out {teehee. just kidding about the making-out part, i just had to say it for giggles}, we got to go swimming with the babies {harleycorn, gavinstein, and ellabella} and play with them.

those cute kiddos make me happy. :]

then after swimming monsieur N mentioned he wants a big family.

i used to want a big family, changed my mind to a medium sized family.

but after he'd mentioned that he wants to have family football games sometimes,

it made me want a big family again too.

for now it's up to 7 kids.

4 boys and 3 girls.

i want them close in age. but not TOO close to where it's diapers for 8 straight years.

even though i thought today was going to be completely terrible,

it's turned out to be a fabulous day.

and i am content.

post numero 90+9

2010-07-25T16:24:00.000-07:00

sarah

elizabeth

love,

sold

very

first

dress

arizona

bridal

yesterday

therefore

got

the

job

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

eeeegads.

do you know how happy i am?

super. happy.

so, in honor of getting the job.. i will celebrate.

how? i don't know.

any suggestions?

i'm working on engagement and grad. announcement designs.

hoping to make them look awesome.

but i'm having a poo moment and can't think of what to do.

lame.

i want to take pictures.. but i don't have another photoshoot until next week.

meh.

~
would an 18th "birthday party" be ultra lame?
idunno, but i'm not sure how to celebrate it.

~

i love this photographer. and she's having a workshop the weekend before my birthday..
$975... + $75/night hotel costs. + airline costs. meh. if only....

just lovely.

2010-07-23T14:59:00.000-07:00

lovely how i always end up running everyone's errands.

i mean, i don't mind taking our foreign exchange student to the school in the morning and picking him up.

what i don't mind is when my brother asks me to take him places..

places that happen to be farther than i want to take him.

uhmm.. isn't he supposed to be grounded?

lovely how i'm being bashed on now.

moody? pshhh.. no. it's called "being a girl"

having standards? that's a problem?

yeah. that's right.

stick that in your juice box and suck it.

lovely how throwing up all morning and not being able to walk around and enjoy the fresh air all day isn't more important than basketball.

at least that's what it felt like at the time.

i guess i'm over it though.

lovely how feist's "mushaboom" can do the trick.

"Old dirt road,
(mushaboom, mushaboom)
knee deep snow
(mushaboom, mushaboom)
Watching the fire as we grow (mushaboom, mushaboom)
o-o-o-o-old"

lovely how i'm still smiling in spite of people being rude faces.

mhmm. :]

my "try out" at AZ bridal is tomorrow.

basically i'll watch tami for 45 minutes,

then go on my own and try to sell a dress to a happy bride.

wish me luck.

see more of this photoshoot here

i can't contain myself!

2010-07-17T13:05:00.000-07:00

in 3 more posts, i will be hitting my 100th post.

isn't that supposed to be exciting?

it doesn't sound like it's that big of a deal, i've seen someone with over 800 posts.

pshhh. big deal.

GUESS WHAT!

this girl {me} might get a job. {not just might. MOST LIKELY}

i applied at arizona bridal and they were so excited {at least tami was} to see me and have me apply there!

which is a good sign.

when i got home, not even an hour after i talked to tami,

she called and said deidra wanted to set up an interview for monday at 11.

wish me luck and pray i get the job! :]

I'M SO EXCITED! AHHH!!!

sad thing is.. it would mean goodbye to my saturdays,

but it's okay, because who wouldn't want to be in a store with a gazillion wedding dresses and a bunch of happy brides? :]

however, it means photoshoots will not be available on saturdays if i get the job.

unless if my shifts work out well with the light of the sun.

nic's grandparents turned 80 and their birthday party is today.

it will be adorable.

cute decor and sweet people.

and yummy cake {i got to test it}

i hope everyone is having a happy saturday.

i sure am. :]

every word you say, i think i should write down.

2010-07-17T01:35:00.000-07:00

monsieur.N and i tried having a movie marathon tonight.. we got through two movies.

but we teased and tickled each other through both movies.

eventually it came down to sitting on the floor and writing cheesy contracts.

basically saying "i hereby solemnly swear to love you forever and ever"

yeah. cheesy. but he makes me smile. :]

we compromised on movies, and watched a war movie and a chick flik.

hello Dear John.

you are a lovely movie, and i'm sure you make a better book.

so after the darling movie, i must read the book and make sure i get the real thing.

i need to pick up on reading in general. i haven't read a book in forever

{thank you hannah peterson for listing a few new books :] }

i went job hunting today at santan village.

romy is hiring. i was super excited to hear those words.

because they have cute clothes.

also american eagle and a couple other stores.

a little birdie told me that AZ Bridal is low on their staff..

SO... i plan on applying tomorrow. {and i've got a head start because of the modest prom dress fashion show}

squee! {thank you perla ;] }

it is time for me to head off to bed.

it is now 1:30

goodnight.

here's a couple pictures just to tickle your fancy.

everything's more interesting with pictures:

possible future bedrooms:

possible bathrooms:

possible kitchens:

future offices:

future living room:

future anything:

{i want this front entry way}

i want a barn.. with lots of horses.

woah.. sorry.. went a little picture crazy. :]

dr. seuss is my best friend.

2010-07-11T22:58:00.000-07:00

saguaro lake tomorrow and tuesday.

debating on whether to take my camera or not.

most likely will.

can't wait to get in the water and burn and look like a to.mah.to and ski.

oh yeah. and hang out with that cute boy i like to call my future husband.

one thought:

i thought i left all this dang drama behind in the hell.hole

two thought:

leave me the frick alone.

red thought:

get out of my head you creeper.

blue thought:

stop lying to me.

i'm having troubling thoughts. not just the dr. seuss ones above.

ones that are making me want to hurl.

but i don't want to talk about them.....

i don't know what i want anymore.

roadtrip playlist complete.

2010-07-06T22:49:00.000-07:00

things i need to do starting on the 14th:

[one]: go to westwood, get my transcripts, return honor's stole.

[two]: take transcripts to MCC.

[three]: get my room set up.

[four]: finish enrolling in classes.

[five]: apply for scholarships.

[six]: look for jobs at the san tan village mall, and fiesta mall.

[seven]: party with my friends. :]

can i say, that even though i make brownies out of a box most of the time, they are the dang best brownies

ever.

want to know why?

because i bake it with love. mhmm.

yes, pun intended.

i also make the best turtle brownies around {from scratch. it's like candy}.

{my junior english teacher also said that her husband thinks they taste just like a bakery}

i used to dream of opening up my own bakery.

i make awesome cheesecake, tartes, brownies, etc.

and i would love to share some of the de.lish happiness with the community.

BUT bakeries are very hard to keep in business.

therefore, i stick to photography.

because it's my numero.uno love.

besides monsieur.N, duh. :]

i think we're destined to not go to lake powell this summer..

first, the boat we were going to use was going to cost a couple K's to get fixed.

second, we weren't sure if we'd be able to borrow one from someone. {but we were able to borrow monsieur.N's family's boat}

now, for third, our suburban broke down in payson and we're not sure how much it will cost.

possibly over 1K?

we don't know.

so we might just go to roosevelt lake.

woop.dee.doo.

it's not as exciting.. but eh, it's a lake.

well, whatever happens, it's what's meant to be.

even if it isn't as fun.

at least i get to see my brother, his adorable soon to be wife, and her kiddos.

they are all so amazing. i love them. and i get to see my new nephew. :]

monsieur.N arrives in about 18 hours.

am i excited?

JUST A WHOLE FREAKING LOT!

am i pathetic?

heck.to.the.yes.

one more day

2010-07-06T06:28:00.000-07:00

up all night long with a moaning almost toddler because he's still teething.

every time i laid back down after getting him situated with his sippy-cup and a pacifier,

he'd start crying again.

finally i left the room at 6am because the only thing to do is ignore him.

and what do you know? once i come out here, he stops crying....

it's now 6:30am.

today will be a long day.

monsieur.N flies in with his mom tomorrow.

it's been 3 weeks.

and tomorrow will feel like heaven.

then i see my family on friday night.

it's been a month.

then i see my extended family on my dad's side {who i adore like crazy}on saturday.

it's been 4 months.

we're going to lake powell. it's one of my favorite places to be.

other than in monsieur.N's arms. :P

i thought i was going to miss out on EVERYTHING happening back home..

first, my family moved the same week i moved to california.

second, my grandma passed away last week and i didn't get to go to her funeral in utah.

third, i thought i was going to miss going to lake powell..

BUT luckily enough we're moving back the day before my family goes.

monsieur.N gets to go with us to the lake, even though my parents said they'd never let me bring a guy with until i was 18.

hallelujah!

i'm so happy he gets to meet my dad's side of the family before he goes on his mission. :]

so anywho.. here's some pictures from the 4th of july:

i know i can't, but honestly, won't someone stop this train.

2010-07-03T22:00:00.000-07:00

can i please burn all rated R movies?
seriously.. life is so much better without them.
did you know the movie Shutter Island has 19 F words and a scene with naked men in a cell?
{i've been ignoring the movie and listening to my ipod with uplifting music and happened to look up during that scene. i want to cry}
you get to see a whole naked man's front side...
along with a million scenes of blood and gore.
isn't that wonderful???
NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it's ridiculous.
it makes me so pissed off.
{i'm sorry if you watch rated R movies and enjoy them.. i'm not trying to offend you, but the movies make me sad. all i'm saying}
today has just been.. very emotional.
{for one thing, mother nature gave me a "gift" today. she can go die. and i've just been home sick and frustrated. and i've had someone nagging me for something i refuse to do.}
so i feel like i'm going to burst into tears right now, because i'm sad that everyone in this world does not know of the truth of Christ and that they can live happily without even the simple things in their lives that tear them down, little by little.

today i've realized that i am SOOOOOO thankful for the gospel and all of the teachings.
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints IS a Christian church.
it teaches us to be HAPPY. and to live happy lives, in spite of difficulties that come our way.
our church is founded on Christian beliefs, but the prophets have given us guidance to be even more happy, healthy, and well rounded.

today nic's sister asked me "so do you find it harder to live the rules now that you're out of the house and without your parents?"
and i said "no, i think it's kind of easier because i get can do it on my own, but some things are harder, like being modest. i've never had short shorts before"
and i feel like i already want to get rid of them.
they are uncomfortable and way too revealing. i feel like my butt will fall out the bottom. my rule for myself that i just made is that i'm only allowed to wear them to go swimming.

okay. so now i've been rambling.. i just wanted to get my feelings out before i forget to write in my actual journal for the next month.. haha. :]

so... if you kept reading through this nonsense, i owe you brownies.
just leave a comment. :]
just kidding. :P
i'm feeling slightly better though. so that's all that matters
goodbye ranting rampage.

negative.affirmitive.negative

2010-07-02T20:54:00.000-07:00

thoughts running through my head:

i'm annoyed

go away

freaking text me

shut up

scared

nervous

i'm a jerk

i'm so dumb

i made stupid choices

i suck at life

no i don't suck at life

will i be able to find a normal job before college?

will things work out the way i hope they will?

i'm going to cry

i can't cry.. too embarrassing.

i miss him

i've done better for the last 2 & 1/2 weeks than i though i would have.

maybe his mission won't be too bad..

no... i'm going to die while he's on his mission.

this is stupid.

i need to stop feeling bad about myself.

think positive..

positive.

happy.

smile.

meh.....

SO much more on my mind.. but you don't want to hear it.

most of it's negative.

just.be.happy.

keep.calm.carry.on

countdown

2010-07-02T13:09:00.000-07:00

in:

2 days: 4th of July

5 days!!!!: bake brownies & monsieur.N and his mom fly here

1 week: drive back to arizona

1 week & 1 day: go to lake powell with nic and my family

1 week & 6 days: get my hair done

1 month & 20 days : classes start

2 months & 18 days: i turn 18!!

4 months & 18 days: monsieur.N turns 19! {about the time for him to leave on his MISSION!! AHHHH!}

can you tell i'm excited?

day.dreaming

2010-06-29T08:29:00.000-07:00

i sit here listening to "dark blue" by jack's mannequin playing through my phone into my headphones.

i was too lazy to:

take a shower

put on some presentable clothes {i.e. not pajamas}

walk about 125 ft to my car

unlock and open the door

grab my ipod

then walk the 125ft back to the apartment.

luckily i remembered i had headphones and tunes on my phone.

hallelujah!

"have you ever been alone in a crowded room"

de.lish.

speaking of de.lish.. i satisfied my craving for new bras {plus a few shirts, p.jay bottoms, and a cute nighty [yes, mom. i bought a nighty.] don't judge me} and sweet factory candy.

now all that's left is auntie anne's pretzel nuggets and a giant, warm, cozy hug from monsieur.N.

1 week,1 day and he'll be here!

random thought:

i want to live in a ranch home.

but not a desert ranch home like the ones you find in the valley in arizona..

like the ones in colorado or just in lush areas where there's colors in the fall.

the only problem with that is snow and the freezing cold.

and i want a few dogs like this little guy:

and

and last:

and i want horses and at least 1 cow.
it would be awesome.
yeah.. i'm kind of a nerd. haha.

and i want quads.
monsieur.N wants dirt bikes too.
and i want a garden.
and lots of flowers.

okay. enough day dreaming.
time to get back to watching my favorite 19 month old kiddos. :]

in the summer sun

2010-06-26T15:21:00.000-07:00

coming home in 1 day less than 2 weeks. {for those of you bad with math, 1 week and 6 days, or another way to put it: 13 days.} pure goodness.

i'm making a summer.sun list of things that HAVE to be done before the summer is over.

{one}: hang out with my BFF alison. seriously. mandatory.

{two}: go to the lake with [monsieur.N]

{three}: design my college bedroom. mhmm. {by.the.way i am officially going to MCC. wewt!}

{four}: look for a "real job" {meaning i get a paycheck every other week} for college.

{five}: get a sketchbook.

{six}: bake.

{seven}: take pictures for myself. not for anyone else.

{eight}: have a photoshop playing splurge.

{nine}: blog out all of these post ideas in my head. {my brain is very busy trying to retain this info}

{ten}: craft like crazy.

{eleven}: practice sewing.

post ideas {so i don't forget}:

|one| once a week post pictures based on one theme/item/whatev. it inspires me to be creative.

|two| once a week post collages of my fav. fashions and outfits i crave.

|three| crafts

|four| post some personal awesome photos that i will be taking. :]

|five| i can't remember what else i wanted to blog about now. oh well. haha.

while writing this, i decided to see what i could find around the apartment that was interesting.

jess, nic's sister, has been working on crafts and i've been helping and it's inspired me to sew something. so when i get back, i will practice my sewing skills. {update: added that on my summer.sun list}

my cute new planner.

feeling inspired to write lists..

2010-06-24T08:04:00.000-07:00

i want:

1. to be daring. i need some excitement in my life. {that is why i will be bleaching my hair in a few weeks. don't worry, not the scary kind of bleach that makes people think "ho", the cute kind of honey blonde like reese witherspoon}

2. sweet factory candy. i haven't been there in a million years.

3. aunt anne's pretzel nuggets. to die for.

4. VS bras, the simple, plain, two pack that includes white and black.

5. a nice long hug from Monsieur N. it is magical. no joke.

6. to be motivated. i've had a lot of ideas running through my head.. but need the motivation to get me to do it.

7. to be more creative, especially in photography. i don't want to be traditional, and that's all i've been doing lately.
8. to see my mommy {you're welcome mom. :]P haha}

i am:

mostly happy.

slightly bummed.

kind of relieved.

really tired.

hungry.

very much in love.

awesome.

the end.

bona fide genius

2010-06-11T15:38:00.000-07:00

GUESS WHO GRADUATED?

me me me.

yes, that is right. i. am. awesome.

just kidding.

but since graduation i have been partying it up.

okay.. not really.

i've just been spending all my time with monsieur N.

recently i've moved to california for the summer.

to watch babies.

it's kind of stressful.. it's hard taking someone else's kids.

i've been getting homesick.. but i'm hoping it will get better after a couple weeks.

but monsieur N goes home soon.. i don't want that day to come. :[

except he's discovered that there are places to play basketball around here...

so, once again, basketball takes priority over me.

at least that's what it feels like.

well... i've seen better days..

but hopefully it will get better

i don't want to go to college.

i especially don't want to go to EAC anymore.

i don't want to make my own major decisions.

i hate growing up.

keep me close enough to reach you

2010-04-09T07:10:00.000-07:00

i am happy x a gazillion.

seriously.

i just finished my online class.

the one thing that's been killing me

over

and

over

i promise i will get back to blogging..

but today, i'm off to Thatcher to visit EAC.

yay!

road trip! :]

where i belong

2010-04-03T00:45:00.000-07:00

everywhere i go.

there's his mocking face.

tormenting me with remembrance.

oh the path of memory lane...

the words sound so sweet.

but in truth, it's the nightmare.

he's there in faces of friends.

in those who's flirting glances torture my inner soul.

in the brother of my love.

so hideous is that thought.

one once said

"they stay in your thoughts for a reason"

is that reason to bring me fear?

or stab my chest

forming a gaping hole

exposed. empty.

but alas, soon true love will return

here to wrap me in those warm arms

hearing his heart beat against my aching thoughts.

drowning them out for none to hear

not even i

succumbing into a deep emotional sleep.

that i'd rather not be woken from

for that is where i belong

34 hours

2010-03-23T23:52:00.000-07:00

choir trip countdown:

34 hours. that's about a day and a half, people.

the awesome thing about it:

the beach trip is actually planned so i will come prepared with a pair of modest board shorts and a tank.

wewt.

yes... i said wewt.

last year i had to purchase some shorts and a tank top because the beach was a surprise from the.harris...

and i was in warm clothes.

(and might i say the shorts and shirt were slightly less than modest because i couldn't find anything very cheap that was modest. i ended up spending $30 on something i could get here in ariz. for less than $10)

see?

i felt like a ho.

okay.. maybe ho is a little extreme..

ANYWAYS...

another awesome thing:

i'm going to do part of haley's senior pictures at the beach.

i'm uber excited.

the lovely haley.stew examples of last year's trip:

and here's just more from last year:

the end.

can't wait for more awesome pictures for this year

because i will have my oh so wonderful

canon 50D

still craving a 5D mark I/II

sigh.

someday.

isn't there a rule for that?

2010-03-19T00:23:00.000-07:00

little kids should stay off of facebook.

period.

they better be at least 14.

seriously.

these little ones are a nuisance when they IM you.

they type like this:

hyyyyyeeee im boreed

i mean bored

i mean lol

wut r u doin

r u boreeed

i mean bore

i mean i mean bored

biii

latta

dood

they repeat themselves, they don't use puntuation, AND they can't spell.

it's also unsafe because they let out the most personal info for creepers to get.

parents, don't let your non-14 and older kids have facebook.

they're irresponsible.

{no offense children}

thank

you

random picture time:

please don't steal this. i took it whilst on Kade's photoshoot.

i love colorful blossoms.. anyone know what kind this is?

it doesn't look like cherry blossoms or apple blossoms..

look how cute my man is. this was his senior night basketball game:

okay wait... don't check out his hotness..

check out his hairy armpits and sweaty face. yummy.

don't think he's cute now, do ya?

good!

just kidding. he's always handsome to me. :]

california, here we come

2010-03-17T22:18:00.000-07:00

so it's furr.sure.

i'm spending my summer about 10 min. from the beach

hanging out with 3 awesome babies and my future sister-in-law [never said that before. it feels good to say it because i adore jess. :D ]

it. will. be. awe. some.

i can't wait.

it will be triple.the.excitement

if i can find me a car and do some photoshoots while i'm there.

the sad part is possibly missing the family reunion?

hopefully i won't have to

maybe sean (the future brother-in-law) will be home those days.

but we'll see when the time comes closer.

because it'd be fun to go.

especially if the rents let monsieur N go.

oh please, oh please.

so i'm in a happy mood.

choir trip countdown:

1 week, 14 hours.

EEK!
^o^

that's my squealy face of happiness.

one week and it will be something like this:

2 more days of editing and relaxing then another photoshoot or two on saturday.

feels good to not be stressing.

spring break is half.way over.

sigh. can school be over already?

just end it right now and i'll be very happy.

i live in countdowns.

2010-03-17T00:41:00.000-07:00

i've been thinking about monsieur N going on his mission a lot lately..

i have a friend named chandler who's mister, jason, [i did pictures for them recently. previews on the photo.blog tomorrow] is leaving tomorrow.

it seems like it's so hard for her.

and it's making me dread the day when monsieur N leaves.

i keep telling myself "oh 2 years is a synch, no problemo."

let's face it, sarah, you're lying to yourself.

it will be so hard.

i'm almost crying thinking about it.

i know the day he leaves it'll be "see you in 2 years. {sobs}"

more sobs.

choking on my own tears.

sobs.

sobs...

bawling.

blegh.

so not ready.

i have a hard time going through weekends without seeing him

i KNOW the wait will be so worth it.

just super scared.

the transition to adulthood is so much different than the change of hair color.

it'll be a lot of HUGE changes.

changes i'm not ready for.

i've already gone over through these before,

but i'm listing them again because lists makes me feel better:

1. college away from home, possibly cali before.

2. having to pay for my own stuff (housing, food, gas, etc)

3. becoming a real adult, 18.

4. nic leaving on his mission.

5. just being totally insecure and unsure of what's going to happen.

{high school is so predictable. but i don't even know what to expect on my own}

2 &1/2 months till sunshine..

and hopefully the beach.

but 5 months until insecurity,

8 months till full mental breakdown.

butterfly fly away

2010-03-10T23:04:00.000-07:00

"need to cry. need to escape; escape the suffocating society around me and search myself and fill this hole that's in my heart. i need to escape the pain i feel. the drowning emptyness. i need to get away. spend a while somewhere foreign where i can be who i want to be. without pressure. without worry."

-quoting myself.

thinking of making a song based on that.

honestly, i'm scared to death.

scared of the HUGE changes..

i might be spending the summer in california.

i'm really excited and hope it works out...

but then i started thinking about the huge changes that will come.

it'll be the first time not living with my family.

my family is kind of crazy and annoying sometimes..

but they bring me a lot of happiness and support too.

whether it be going to cali first or just going to college,

either way i will miss my support here.

and i will miss monsieur N terribly. sure, i'll still see him.

just not as much as i'd like.

it'll be good for us though at the same time.

i still won't like it very much.. but oh well..

onto a less stressing octave

...

1. i had my senior pictures done last friday with jo.

here's some favorites:

and i have many many more favorites. i don't know how i'll choose for my announcements.

gahh...

2. my sister is coming to for 2 weeks from texas!!

she's coming tomorrow with baby Sage [how precious is he?]

3. i have lots of photoshoots to do this weekend and next week.

i'm so excited.

4. tomorrow night is the arizona bridal warehouse modest prom dress fashion show.

it will be so fun! not wearing a fancy dress for it,

but here's my prom dress that i get at the end:

i know my hair is sick.nast but it does it's job.

i love my dress though. perfect.fit

[and no, i'm not ruining the surprise because monsieur N has already seen it and it's not like it's our wedding day so i don't care, and besides, he suggested the blue, and i LOVE it.]

goodnight

olive.juice

deal or no deal?

2010-03-03T21:38:00.000-07:00

check the photo.blog

there will be more pictures to make an appearance on it later.

i'm in a pretty cruddy mood.

i feel like crying.

all because he forgot about our deal.

{so my answer is "no deal"}

kind of thoroughly upset.

and because i don't feel good.

i have a fever and i almost threw up a few times this evening.

i'm whiny...

and i don't particularly care.

at least a stranger made me feel somewhat better.

she gave me an awesome and really super nice compliment about my photography.

thank you to T.Z. for your wonderful uplifting comments.

you made my heart sing.

monsieur N and i came up with a new way to say "piece of crap"

it will now be "piece of chevy"

because chevy's suck.

as i've been experiencing often with our

"piece of chevy" suburban.

i hate that thing.

i'm a ford lover.

and have been for a longtime.

anywho...

off to shower.

then to bed.

adios.

olive.juice

wishes are for empty hearted, broken souls

2010-03-02T21:48:00.000-07:00

that must be me.. because i wish i can win this giveaway:

epiphanie bags

and i wish i could buy one of their camera bags.. right this instant..

sigh.. this camera bag will be on my "equipment list" in the future:

{you can't see it very well. but go HERE to see it better.

that or the blue one. love them!}

and i wish i could write more.. but alas,

this girl has to go study for an econ test (even though i'll ace it without a problem. the subject comes easily for me) and hit the hay.

today was wonderful

and i am very very very blessed.

i owe everything to my Heavenly Father.

senior.picture outfits, final pick

2010-02-28T18:33:00.000-07:00

decided on jeans for both outfits. i didn't want to buy new shorts, and i didn't want to cut up my other jeans. the shirt is sapphire. it was too simple so i decided to add the vest to spruce it up a bit.

stuck with a white shirt and belt & coral colored jewelry. stuck with the hat. added jeans and brown heels, the jeans were too long for flats.

and i wanted to use my cute headband i made, so i threw in this outfit. and i love my scarf. :]

but instead of the jeans i'll wear khaki shorts. with dark brown flats.

i'm really excited to have my pictures done with Jo. love her and i owe her tons for squeezing me in her busy schedule. THANK YOU JO! you're the best! :]

i can't wait. possibly even getting out of choir for it. weee!

sabbath days are my favorite days.

that and fridays.. and saturdays.

i basically just love weekends.

finishing my scholarship app for EAC in a minute.

nervous.

hope i get a full tuition scho.ship.. then federal aid will help cover living costs and supplies..

not for long though. :/

meh. getting close-ish to finishing my online class.

can't wait to be done with the class from {HECK}

history kicks my butt.

by the way.. i dropped french..

i am such a rebel.

it's nice not having a 6th hour.

and getting to party in bro. sell's classroom.

we have some hard.core parties, let me tell you...

okay. not really..

choir trip count down:

25 days.

excitement level:

FRIGGIN' JUMPING OUT.OF.MY.SKIN EXCITEEEED!

later.yo

olive.juice

waiter haters

2010-02-25T16:09:00.000-07:00

to the people that think i'll get married while monsieur N is on his mission:

you tell me i won't wait for him...

that just gives me more incentive to prove you all wrong.

so stop lecturing me and giving me stupid statistics..

because i'm getting bored and annoyed with it.

and i know you're all wrong.

wrong

WRONG.

you don't know monsieur N and i

and how we feel and what we think.

i know in 3 years, there will be wedding invitations being sent out with

the names:

sarah elizabeth love

nicholas dale waggoner

so just keep quiet

please and thanks.

the.end

{fashionista.fancy}

2010-02-21T19:31:00.000-07:00

trying to decide on my 2 outfits for senior pictures.

i need consultation.

i'm digging these for a casual look:

(everything minus the shoes is $80 from the exact stores i found them..)

then for the other outfit:

not sure which colors i like best. but the silver wedges would be easiest to get.

although i'd die for some killer bronze flats.

but i think with the fedora, the silver would look better.

(this outfit alone costs $88 without tax... yikes)

total cost of outfits... $168.. without tax..

definitely looking for cheap look alikes. only things i plan on buying at normal price..

silver shoes and hats. and the necklace.

which will be $52... crap.. still too much.

sigh...

hmm..

opinions?

Down to the last thought in my head

2010-02-17T22:29:00.000-07:00

title is from Zee Avi's song Darling it Ain't Easy
find it here

here's my some tidbits of my favorite music

1. Feist

1234 is my favorite song.

2. Jaymay

fantastic!

3. Koop

ahh for the love of 40/50's sounding lounge.ish music.

listen to Vuelvo Al Sur.

(are they gay? they look like it.. not to judge, but one of their album covers is a little odd)

4. Kate Nash

i've had her music for a while, but thought I'd include it because it's fantastic...

i love Merry Happy and We Get On.

5. Madeleine Peyroux

anything by her.. sigh.. seriously the style is classical beauty.

Instead is a good song

6. Katie Herzig

seriously. SO cute. favorites include Sweeter Than This and Fools Gold.

how gorgeous is she?

7. Melody Gardot

lovely. If The Stars Were Mine

listen.now

8. Gregory and the Hawk

also knew this band a while ago. but have been listening to their new music.

9. Teitur

another old friend. seriously. listen to him. One and Only is awe.lish. if you know what movie it's on, i will love you forever. i found this musical genius from this movie...

10. The Scene Aesthetic

once again, known for a long time, thanks to my brother andrew.

11. Vermillion Lies
they're different.
i like it.

12. Zee Avi

thank you haley.stew. thank.you
graces to you my dear friend
(by the way.. we need to go to EA. and freaking hang out sometime..
maybe if i actually talk to you in real life again someday. :P )

13. Mirah

Pollen is a de.lish song.

also Nobody Has to Stay

14. Demi Lovato

she's adorable. don't like how she wears bright red lipstick all the time.. makes he look like she has a larger mouth than she already does. but i still think she's freaking wonderful. and very beautiful.

love the song Catch Me

15. Priscilla Ahn

again, thank you haley.stew

i find many favorites through you.

16. Iron & Wine

Sunset Soon Forgotten

beautiful guitar

that's just a glimpse into my new found and not so new loves.

i hope monsieur N doesn't get jealous. :P

heffalumps and woozles

so anywhoozles.

want to see my mountain of clothes?

i mean, my bed?

this is the mountain of clothes.. i am not ashamed...

because it turned into this...

isn't my bed just darling?
i admit, it's a "kiddy" bed. but i don't care. it fits me.
no... i don't mean physically. :P
but these past two nights with my new mattresses have been heaven.
my back doesn't hurt as bad now. weeee!

i am a master of deception...

because on the other side of the room is this... bahaha.

lovely huh?

oh yeah, you like the shelves that my daddy built {you can see them in the middle picture}?

i love them.

thanks dad.

olive.juice

some people....

2010-02-16T22:10:00.000-07:00

really don't have time tonight..

but i have to say....

sigh...

some people....

make my brain hurt...

some people....

make my stomach hurt...

some people....

just have the audacity to... ...

some people....

just frustrate me so much.

no i am not speaking of family this time..

that is all.

i want to say what's on my mind.. but won't for fear of offending anyone..

i don't want anyone to be hurt on my account.

i have the best dad in the world.
really. he surprised me yesterday with new mattresses.
i was only expecting a bed frame to come home from the wonderful world of costco.
he's fantastic.
i've never had new mattresses before.
or my own bed frame bought especially for me.
(i've always had to share a bed or a frame has been passed down
i.e. the ugly, hideous, huge, bulky, squeaky bunk bed that is now nowhere in sight)
{thank goodness}
i will post pictures of the new lovely, delicate, sweet, adorable bed frame tomorrow, and blog about the fun.lish (like dee.lish) music i've found.

olive.juice

p.s. i told myself i'd go to bed by 10... it's now 10:25, there's a mountain (literally) of clothes on my bed, waiting to be folded, and my hair is waiting to be braided..
hmmph.. and there would be a cute new logo on the picture..
but my computer had an overload and closed out of all the stuff i was working on.
sad day. so i just need to edit it again. meh.

best v.tine's day ever.

2010-02-15T00:43:00.000-07:00

don't have much time to write.

but seriously.. this was the best valentine's day ever.

this morning i went to church with monsieur N and his parents. fun fun.

then went home for a while until i got to go back to his house for dinner.

we had so much fun. we wrestled, played assassins creed, cuddled, and laughed like hyenas. no joke.

it was so fun. we got so slap happy we laughed at everything.

if i snorted, we laughed. if he looked at me funny we laughed..

it got so goofy i don't even want to explain it.

but you know how there's a weak laugh and there's a true laugh?

monsieur N is basically the only person that knows my true laugh.

he's the only person that can make me laugh till i pee my pants.

anyways. we just told each other how much we loved eachother and what not, like every sap is supposed to do on valentine's day. (we are serious saps it's not even funny, even though he likes to act like mr. macho man [okay.. not that often]).

anyway.. i got there at like 4:30.. the time slipped away. next thing i knew, my dad was calling asking me when i was going to be home... it was past 11.. hehe.

time goes by so fast when you're laughing with your best friend.

what he said was so cute.. "it's true.... you really are supposed to marry your best friend.."

with that, expect a wedding invite from us in 3 years. :]

anywho. so i got ready to leave and before i left we took goofy pictures.

here's a few:

we couldn't take any serious pictures. the last one is the only moderately serious one we got.

(excuse the sick.nast hair. due to the wrestling and play fighting my hair was destroyed.

thank you monsieur N)

you know if you have a best girl friend and you spend a whole day with them then at the end you get home and kick off your shoes and sigh thinking "that was loads of fun but i'm SO glad to be home"...

i don't really have a best girl friend and don't spend a lot of time with any other friends..

(i'm a hermit. :]P )

so my best friend is different than that. when i get home i sigh and think "i can't wait to be with him again. i had so much fun and i miss him already."

and honestly, i'm kind of glad i don't have a best girl friend (oh wait. i lied.. my closest girl friend is justine but i never get to see her) girls are just too much drama. and i get annoyed with other girls very {very} easily. and i definitely don't want to hang out with other guys on my free time.. (don't get me wrong, the guy friends are cool and funny.. but they don't give me the same feelings as my man does. so what's the point?) so you see why i'm a hermit? i like it that way.

okay. enough blabbering.

wanna see what i got for monsieur N?

of course you do.

lisa leonard is amazing. i so want a personalized necklace..

it's kind of pricey though.

someday.

this little sucker was a bit on the high side too.

but it was worth it.

at the end of the letter on the card i punched 2 holes and tied the keychain to it

to make it look like the signature part.

(i made the card by the way [i hate bought cards] if you're going to give someone a card, make it yourself. it comes from the heart. not from a store for a couple rectangles. holy cheese.nips)

speaking of cheese.nips.

monsieur N has become obsessed with my nerd voice.

you know.. crap S's like Shid the Shloth?

you get the point.

it's funny. he always asks me to do it for him.

love him.

all i have to say for tonight.

sorry for the chattering nonsense.

olive.juice

p.s. i've been getting awesome new music...

HAVE to write a blog about all the fantastic stuff i've found..

next time..

leaving for utah 5 in the ayy.emm.

2010-02-04T22:59:00.000-07:00

we were planning on staying at my aunt's house like an hour north of Provo i believe, but they're expecting snow.. so it'll be impossible to make it up there because they don't plow the roads where she lives.

so... we had to find an alternative place to stay.

after a couple hours of looking for a hotel and getting discouraged

[all of them were packed. darn you ski season!!]

my brother told us about priceline.

best thing ever!

you can bid your own prices?

how cool is that??

so, with that said...

we're staying at the marriot! for some tiny rectangles i must say.

(rectangles=bones=moolah=dollars

get it?)

we're paying half of what we would have payed at a crap motel.

excited much.

i still have to pack though.

meh. i hate packing.

i used to love it

to the point that i packed a week early.

obviously i've grown out of that phase

and pack the night before and even finish right before i leave.

random thought,

if you like piano/guitar music,

listen to this song

and if you love pandora AND piano music.

make a station as Yiruma.

it's sensational.

when we're well off and have a somewhat large house,

nic and i will have piano music playing throughout the house

through speakers.

and occassionally when we're feeling crazy or cleaning..

we'll put on other stuff. :]

nic gave me a curfew for my dates with photography..

yeah.. i know he'll be my husband, but he's not my dad.. :P

especially when i love photography... doesn't he wish i didn't have a curfew when it came to going on dates with him?

anywho. i'll post some more pictures on the photo.blog later. possibly after my return from utah. who knows. but make sure to check it out whenever i do. :]

air force reserves?

2010-02-01T21:44:00.000-07:00

i'd rather that than anything else.
monsieur N is thinking about joining the air force reserves.
meh. still don't like the idea of him being in danger at anytime... even though he wants to be a police officer... where he'll be pretty much in danger a lot.

oh well. i don't mind if he does it as long as we're married in the temple first. :P

i'm going through some crazy times right now... life is busy.
so much to do.
i'm sorry i haven't posted ti.po's funeral service pictures.
so here they are:

this was at ti.po's viewing. his closest friends were there to say goodbye.
from left to right is (Bobby, Mr. Snuggles, and Georgiana)

his funeral was the most beautiful thing i'd ever seen. just lovely... *sniff sniff*

aegis.kitty was also there but couldn't bear the thought any longer so she had to excuse herself. also because the stench was horrifying.

honestly.. if you've never smelled a rotting bamboo plant... be grateful. it smelled like a dead, rotting, left in a damp place, animal. gross.

that's besides the point... here lies ti.po. forever more.
goodbye dear friend.

in other depressing and embarrassing news...

didn't

make

regionals.

more sobs

it's pretty embarrassing to make it your junior year... then not make it your senior year... especially when a sophomore got 11th chair. (if you read my blog, sophy, i am in no way desecrating your wonderful self. i adore you. and congrats. i'm just bitter) meh. :[

yeah. i'm scarred.

literally. i came home and slit my wrists.

just kidding. that's bad. don't ever do that!

wow.. i have so much more to say but am in need of major Z's x a gazillion.

nighty.night

sleep well blog.

p.s. my blog layout and junk is in serious reconstruction..
so please pardon the non.matching.ness

contest at Make It and Love It.

2010-01-27T07:36:00.000-07:00

entering a contest to win a cute new camera strap.
you can enter to win one too here
but hurry. the contest ends tonight.

that's all i have time to say for now. but i need to update on ti.po's funeral later tonight.

have a lovely wednesday. :]

that should've stayed on myspace.

2010-01-24T13:14:00.000-07:00

remember how junior.high the saying "comment on my pics, yo" was?

i know someone who still does that...

seems a little desperate... jus.sayin.

okay. so it's probably the same thing to ask people to "comment.the.blog.peeps"

pshhh... who does that.. that's so junior.high.

just kidding. i'm as guilty as whoever swiped my favorite scarf...

[will not give a name]

no more shall i ask.

because i'm going to write whatever i feel like and not care if anyone reads me.

or comments.

but it still is nice to know that people realize i'm alive.

i realized i'm alive today.

let me tell you,

realizing you're living... and you're you..

is the weirdest feeling ever.

because you feel like you're so small and insignificant in the world.

but really, you're so very vital to your surroundings.

without you, how would your best friend relieve him/herself of pent up feelings?

without you, how would that person you smiled at be different?

without you, how would that person you talked with be feeling now?

without you, who would your husband/boyfriend/crush/whoever love?

ever think about that stuff?

it's ca.reeeepy.

and have you ever had that epiphany.. and become conscious of the fact that

everyone in the world thinks that the world revolves around them

and that everything in their lives seems like the most important thing happening, ever.

once again.. makes me feel like i'm tiny in this vast universe.

well, no matter what, i still hope i make somewhat of a difference in someone's life

and that's all that matters.

in addition to my little... insight?, i am definitely grateful for the knowledge i have for the gospel

and the knowledge of life after this, rather then the common belief that we just... disappear.

it's nice to know i'm still someone after i'm dead. and that this life means something.

onto another note, this is what i do when i'm bored...

i wish i were that tall compared to nic. :P

this was my outfit for the sunday we were in utah. and that's what nic most likely looked like that day. without the pocket hankie. :]

and this is what i look like when i'm bored:

my arm looks a little odd... like it's out of its socket.

have a symphonic sunday!

i know i will. gotta be practicing for regional auditions on fuhriday.

eekk!

adios.

olive.juice

gross... look at that mess..

2010-01-23T22:01:00.000-07:00

i have been neglecting my desktop organization time.

alas, tomorrow it will be done.

also.. i am sad to report that my friend ti.po has passed on... his funeral will be held on tuesday.

comment if you'd like to attend his virtual remembrance.

haha.

i am truly blessed.

2010-01-19T16:02:00.000-07:00

scratch the wedding pictures off of the list of things to look forward to this year.

the groom's cousin took their engagement pictures and was assuming she'd do their wedding pictures too, for free as a gift.

which is okay i suppose.

but it still stinks.

that was a way i was going to pay for this craptastic load of school expenses coming up.

[choir trip for this year (and last year {total of $450 for both trips} because mr. harris let me slip by on paying for a while due to lack of finances) and extra money to spend on the trip & more stuff i can't think of right now]

but i just realized something...

the bride found out about the groom's cousin last night...

and at about the same time she found out, i was basically given a job without even seriously looking for one and it pays very very well, considering that i'm still 17.

God knew what was coming, and what I needed to be prepared. He took care of me. I feel like this job was an answer to my prayers.

Thank you Robert Cunningham for being a tool in God's hands.

{I've known Robert probably since I was 5-ish and he's been following my photography and likes what I do, so he offered me a job working with his business. Now I just have to work on my portfolio/resume and get it to him.}

I'm overwhelmed with God's grace and love.

Anyone who takes their blessings and everything they have for granted needs to realize that none of us deserve any of the things God is willing to give us, and give thanks to our Father in Heaven who watches over us constantly.

3 Nephi 13: 31-33

"Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? For your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto
you."

I thank God for all he so graciously gives me.

my talents
my family
my friends
the beautiful world we live in
my spirit
the scriptures
temples
& the knowledge of His gospel.

I am truly, truly blessed.

count your blessings,
for there are many.